"Gozer the Gozerian? Good evening. In the name of the City, County, and State of New York, you are hereby ordered to cease and desist all supernatural activity and depart to the nearest convenient parallel dimension."
It's the "Good evening" that always gets me.
Once again, things you could have told me YESTERDAY.
Fritz!!! They shot Fritz!!!
My name is David Letterman, and I'm not wearing any pants.
Would you like to buy a monkey?
Sometimes it's a good day to die, and sometimes it's a good day to have breakfast.
...and people say she's just a big pair of tits.
Do you know how popular I am? I'm so popular, everybody loves me so much, at this school...
"That's ok. You can do it on the boat!"