( continues...) vampire in the world to enjoy unicorns. God, she is so flawless. Well, not literally, since she is probably the worst vampire ever, and that’s why it’s very fitting that she gets into a slow-motion slap fight with Xander, which may – May – be the most terrific scene in Buffy History since Xander is the worst fighter ever. They are a match made in heaven.

I think I’m truly starting to warm up to the idea of Buffy/Riley. I say “starting” because I refuse to get involved in anything close to a ship after “wild at heart.” clearly, even perfect relationships are all possibilities for endless tragedy. So for now, I’ll just appreciate the entire party scene Not Just because of that dog, but because there’s something neat about the show choosing to show us this big character moment from Riley perspective. We’ve seen Buffy try to move on from angel, and in this case, we understand why she’s reluctant to even accept the possibility that Riley might like her. He’s from a totally different world than her. Also, I just need to say this, but it’s fucking weird that I am trying to be all serious about Riley and the dynamic of an older man who is a bit of a gentleman and it’s in all-caps. Well, I’m here to dismantle the idea that thoughtful words can’t be written in all-caps. It’s a caps lock reclamation.

What. Wait. Wait. Where are Riley and Forrest and Graham going. WHAT. WHAT. WHAT!!!?!?!?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK THE;A D;FKLAJSDF A;SKDLFJKAS

DFASJDK;FLAJSDF;LKJA ASD;LKF FA

ASD;FLKASJDF;AKLSDFJASDF

Oh my god the initiative is the organization that captured Spike. Riley is one of the dudes in military gear. I can’t. I cannot handle one fucking second of this. I just can’t. I never saw this coming. Season four just skyrocketed in quality in like twenty minutes. I can’t cope with any of this.

Oh my god there is a direct parallel in Riley life to Buffy. Fuck, they both have to pretend that they don’t have this huge, life-altering secret that they’re hiding from one another. This is both fascinating and Deeply hilarious. This is why it’s so wonderful to see them both try to get one another away from that bench. Could they be made for one another even more than they already are?

Oh shit, Spike found Willow. This won’t be so bad, right? Riley or Buffy will get there in time. Wait. They haven’t. They still haven’t. Oh shit, what is Spike doing. Oh my god did he just bite her? What the fuck you better not kill off Willow or I will–

What. What? Oh my god, Spike cannot harm or feed off anyone without feeling extreme pain. Oh my god, the whole scene is written as if he is impotent. Willow is giving Spike advice on how to best eat her, and now spike is telling Willow that he thought her pink fluffy sweater was cute. Help me. What is happening to my brain. Help me. Oh my god, Spike, you are just so lovely. What is that thing in your brain and how do we get it out. Well, not yet, because I don’t want you to eat Willow. But you know.

Are Buffy and Riley technically fighting on their first date? Whatever, it’s probably not a date at all, but I don’t care. This makes me laugh so hard. They could not be more perfect for one another. Look, this initiative plotline is clearly going to stick around, and I am so happy about it. There’s so much one can explore with it! Moral ambiguity and the evils of science and Riley/Buffy and professor Walsh being all awesome and I just cannot wait to see how this pans out. Oh my god, season four, I love you so much already.

Thanks, Daniel. I needed that.

Hmm. We're coming up on "Pangs," and even though it's got some of the funniest lines of the series (and no small amount of character and plot development), Mark's going to have a complete freakout at the complete-and-utter lack of political correctness, isn't he?

Still ... YOU MADE A BEAR!!!! UNDO IT!!!

I've been tending to skim Mark's reviews of Buffy and Angel because while I'm interested in his take on things, I'm not so much interested in the deep analysis of his life. "LET ME TELL YOU MY FEELS ON THIS AND HOW IT MIRRORS MY LIFE!"

Actually, that's the part I find most compelling. But then, I do research on how and why people react to fictional narratives, and what role they play in their lives, so he's like having a completely unaware test study that I don't have to feed or clean up after. Which? Helpful.

My favorite reviews are the ones where Mark tells the story of a chapter from his life.

I'm such a devoted fan I actually stopped reading to go watch the That Dog video. They're Veruca Salty.

I'm such a devoted fan I actually stopped reading to go watch the That Dog video. They're Veruca Salty.

Petra Haden (daughter of jazz giant, Charlie Haden) was in that dog. Then she did the super cool Peter Haden Sings The Who Sell Out where she recreated the entire album using only multitracked vocals (she sang the instrumental parts). And for a while she was with The Decembrists.

Mark's going to have a complete freakout at the complete-and-utter lack of political correctness, isn't he?

Pretty much. We were talking about it in Spoils, and people were like, "How can anyone possibly like this episode??"

I was like, "...Because it's funny?"

I was like, "...Because it's funny?"

Pangs is hilarious!

t edit It has funny syphillis!

Actually, that's the part I find most compelling. But then, I do research on how and why people react to fictional narratives, and what role they play in their lives, so he's like having a completely unaware test study that I don't have to feed or clean up after. Which? Helpful.

Hee. You're awesome. I find it compelling, and I have no compelling reason to do so.