Ok, I'm twelve. Forgive me.

The woman tells me to relax and then I know she’s insane. Nobody could find lying on a hard table with paper rustling under her ass to be relaxing. And that’s before they stick the instrument in, and ask me to take a deep breath while Mom holds my leg. I feel pathetic, even at sixteen that my doctor is the only one who has touched me like this, even though I only went on one hopeless “date” at crip camp and I don’t know who that other person would be. I still wish there was one, and suddenly the teen magazine I brought in trying to feel like the other girls is a stupid choice. These girls freak out about a bloodstain on their white pants. If they were me, they’d have to live in a cave for a week.

Awesome drabbles! Laura, I'm so glad you decided to share yours. It's vivid and beautiful.

Nearly done with Chapter Four and have made further revisions to the other three.

Yay!!

if you want.

Doesn't sound like they are serving a useful purpose. So I won't fill list bandwidth with them. Why I asked.

Erika, I'm also twelve. You're forgiven for making me grin, again.

I tried to tell my son the reading out loud tip just yesterday. He seemed to reject it, but he may do so rather than risk my yellow marker again. He hates when he misses the obvious mistakes. I don't know a better way to find them. eta: hates because I mock him soundly - he has remarkable grammar skillz

It sounds like a good idea to me, TB. I think it would be nice if we talked more about writing in here.

I can proofread other people's stuff without reading out loud, but my own writing I have to read out loud. I think it uses a different part of the brain.

My Monday critique group reads each other's work aloud, and I always catch things I'd otherwise miss, especially Repeated Word Syndrome and dauntingly long and complex sentences.

Sorry, Gar, didn't mean to sound dismissive. Just trying to be terse. In journalism school, I was laconic. Thanks, Laura. I know it's a little crude.

When I was writing longer stuff, I'd read it walking. I know it sounds weird, but I'd pace up and down the deck and read aloud. It highlighted some awkward phrasing, pointed out things that a cold reader would find unclear, and helped me with pace, either building suspense or excitement, unfolding clues or sharing intimate secrets. The reading while walking sort of shook things into place--and pointed out where they were out of place.

I am loving the writing tips. Keep 'em coming.

The reading out loud is a good way for me to find some of my more common mistakes (awkward phrasings, infelicitous repetitions, etc.)

The best thing for me, though, is to let things sit for about a week and then go back and read through. That tends to give me enough distance to notice places where what I wanted to say didn't come through clearly, but not so much that I wonder "what the hell was I trying to say/imply/hint at" here?