Sara, for what it's worth, I totally got it. Nice job.

I got it, and haven't had the experience. The opposite, in fact--I had two younger brothers and they would do stuff like that (and worse) during arguments all the time, but my parents would listen to my side. My mom was a state debate champion, so she always fell for a good argument.

Sara, for what it's worth, I totally got it. Nice job.

ditto. I can see where the words doubled back on themselves, but that kind of echoed the qualities of a frustrating argument, for me.

Yeah, my not getting it may have been due to the reader rather than the writer. We all have stupid moments; I hope mine are not too frequent, but not understanding what was going on was probably one of mine.

The parting shot challenge is now closed.

This week's prompt is bells and whistles.

Bells and whistles

It’s dented in a couple places, the back fender striped with rust. The black paint gives way to dull gray primer on the driver’s side door. The backseat’s upholstery is held together with duct tape in two places.

“Give it a try?” her father says, handing over a pair of keys on a simple ring.

She slides in, turns the key. The engine rumbles to life with a satisfying growl, runs smooth.

“No bells and whistles.” Her father is looking at his shoes.

She puts a hand on the dash, smiles. The steady vibration hums through her. “Doesn’t need any.”

His new command. The navy was trusting him with a ship again, despite the fact that his last one now lay lost and broken, scattered across the bottom of the sea. He supposed getting all but four of his crewmen off alive before she sank made up for the loss of her, at least in Uncle Sam's eyes. The faces of the four lingered behind his own, though.

He stepped out of the car, squared his shoulders, stepped up to the gangplank. The bell on deck rang the hour, and as he reached the ship's rail they piped him aboard.

::whistles appreciatively at the first two belles::

The Sinking Ship

Ting-a-ling, rang the bells on his hat.

Tootly-toot, blew the wiley whistle.

He pirouetted down the lane, colors a-flashing, legs a-scampering.

Come out to play, sang the pipe; it is a fine day. Come see the river, the bank, the water. Don't let's bide inside, come out, come out, come out to play!

Ting-tong rang the bells of the church.

Woe-whoo blew the pipes of the organ.

They went to play that fine day. Their eyes did sparkle as they followed his way. They followed the whistle, the bells while they swayed. Down to the river and there they stayed.

Question for the writerly hivemind:

In my alternative history, the initial change in the timeline occurs in the Year X, when a historical figure dies prematurely. I address this in a prologue. The story itself starts in the Year X+25, when the dead guy's absence makes itself felt in Big, Obvious ways, but there were small changes in the interim that I hint at.

My question: Am I being sloppy and cheating if I base what changes and what remains the same as much on storytelling expediency as what I think actually would've happened? E.g. I haven't changed my protagonist's pre-story career much, even though I think my timeline changes might well have altered it, because it's convenient to use his real achievements as a measurement of his abilities and accomplishments when we first meet him in Ch. 1. Granted, maybe 1% of my readership at most will know the character's real backstory, but it still seems simpler to use the real events and let people maybe look them up on wikipedia and learn something, than to make up something completely new, but designed to show the same strengths and weaknesses. And on the other side, I really, REALLY want to alter the timeline to get my protagonist's brother home from a diplomatic posting several months ahead of schedule just so I can have them working together at a critical plot juncture. I don't have to. They had other brothers*, or I could use a friend. But they've got this beautiful edgy sibling rivalry going on that apparently didn't exist with their other brothers and obviously wouldn't be there with a friend. "Of course I'll help you. We're brothers," just doesn't have the same drama as, "Of all the harebrained schemes! Mother was right about you all along! Is this how you reward me for all the trouble I've taken on your behalf?"

So. If you were reading such a story and found out what I'd changed and left alone, would you be all, "She cheated. There's no way those events would've played out the exact same way given the other changes in the timeline, and why the heck would Little Big Brother have gone home six months early?" Or am I way overthinking this?

*Almost all the real people I'm using in this story came from annoyingly large families, annoying because every time I send them off on adventures I have to remember they have elderly mothers and scads of aunts or legions of brothers or whatever. And I'm like, "People! Didn't your parents every hear of 'an heir and a spare'?"