Hey Connie, I probably should have dropped you a line. I answered your e-mail.

Erika, yeah, reading slush has given me a great deal of appreciation for your work.

Sorry about the back channel chatter everyone.

It turned out my action scene wasn't as much of a problem as I thought once I actually got to the writing of it. But now I have another dilemma.

I have a character who, for various reasons, has in my readers' minds a sign reading "Big Damn Hero" above his head wherever he goes. And he really is a BDH. Or he will be by the story's end. But when the story opens, he's thrust into a situation where everything that's a source or pride and identity to him is stripped away. (Picture a 9/11-type situation, only in many ways more drastic, AND he's forced to become a fugitive, so he doesn't even have his name or any kind of stability to cling to. And for the first few chapters he doesn't even have anyone to confide in other than a none-too-clever young man who's lost even more of his world than our BDH did.) He's smart, brave, and resourceful and I want all that to come through...but he's also thrown completely off balance and therefore is a lot more uncertain and cautious than normal. On some levels he's frantic and terrified, but he'd never admit that, even to himself. He'd never even admit to the uncertain and cautious, because he, like my readers, thinks of himself as a Big Damn Hero by nature.

So, I've been trying to show his uncertainty and fear in subtle ways. I have a woman who's by no means old enough to be his mother treat him in ways that reminds him of his childhood nanny. Rather than being annoyed, he's comforted and allows himself to be fed warm bread and butter and bustled off to bed because he's that tired out, poor dear. When he sees himself in the mirror disguised in workman's clothes (he's quite the rich gentleman when he's his real self) he shudders at the sight. Etc.

But it's not working for my CPs. ANY of my CPs, even the ones who normally can almost read my mind. So I'm forced to conclude the problem is with my writing. Any ideas on how else I can show that a Big Damn Hero is in a vulnerable place without him admitting it, but without going so far that his uncertainty amounts to a My Pet Goat moment?

Any ideas on how else I can show that a Big Damn Hero is in a vulnerable place without him admitting it, but without going so far that his uncertainty amounts to a My Pet Goat moment?

Is there any way you can step back a bit in your p.o.v. to indicate a bit more overtly that he's so damned tired and off balance that Larger Issues are crowded out of his mind? Maybe he can come close to realizing that he's in a vulnerable place (close enough that the reader sees it) but never quite get there himself?

How about something physical? He could be doing something like shaving or taking tea from nanny-ish woman or loading and see that his hand is shaking. He could take a deep breath and will his shaking to stop.

How do ad people get called on the carpet by their bosses? Phone call, or f2f...

F2F, IIRC

Actually, lemme elaborate. If it's a major firmwide fuckup, there will probably be an email followed by a meeting. A team fuckup that's not major, email. Single person fuckup, called to the office and told to shut the door.

Screwing up the quotes to the Bailey Banks and Biddle Valentine's day catalogue and almost letting it go to print before the admin catches it because she's pretty sure VanGough never said the quote you're attributing to him? Not so much as a mention or a thanks to the admin.

Er, um...something like that.

(sorry erika, I have no clue but...)

Hey it's monday. How about a drabble? Here's a topic:

recognition

I thought it might be, DJ. But although I've worked for editors now, and sometimes those relations have their contentions, I've never had an "Oh shit, the Boss!" boss.(You'd think that'd feel better, wouldn't you? Me too.)

Thanks for the ideas, y'all! That definitely gives me something to build on.

It's cowardly to be hiding from the email that probably contains the author's response to my first set of edit notes, isn't it.

If I was into power, this would be a cool gig. But I'm discovering power makes me nauseous. I keep going, "What the hell do I know about making someone else's writing better? He's going to send me hate mail, track down my address, appear at my door with a baseball bat, and smash my computer."

It's hard balancing personal taste against writing that needs tweaked. Just because I don't like it doesn't mean it needs fixed.