For the record, I used to work with a woman who had delusions of being able to write. In business, she was incapable of writing a simple declarative sentence without at least one grammatical or spelling error. She wrote a book - a romance novel - and submitted it to a publisher. It came back with a note that it was the worst thing they'd ever read. I know getting personal feedback is supposed to be encouraging, but not in this case. (MM, fyi, she's the crazy lady I sent you stories about.)

Lemme tell you, when people ask me what I do for a living, and I say I'm an editor -- even though I qualify it by explaining we publish PHARMACY journals -- 75% of the people still follow that up with (and yes, they ALL say some variation of this): "Oh, that's interesting! I've got this idea for a book, and just need to find someone to read it. See, it's about these kids with wings/tap-dancing unicorns/time-travelling geckos...."

Problem #1: Let's say your idea is actually potentially interesting. You have to actually WRITE it. You need more than "an idea."

Problem #2: You "need to find someone to read it"? I think you don't understand editing.

Problem #3: Dude, tap-dancing unicorns?!?!?

And that's the point at which I nod and make my Interested Face, and then reiterate how we publish PHARMACY JOURNALS, but good luck with finding someone who publishes fiction. ("Do you know anyone who publishes fiction? I figured you might have some contacts...." Well, see, this is Cincinnati, not New York. The only other editors I know sit about 15 feet away from me. And they edit PHARMACY JOURNALS. When I'm feeling nice, I recommend getting the current copy of Writer's Market.)

Yarg.

Weird, Teppy. Not quite as weird as the people who think I can flash the crip signal and get, say, Stephen Hawking on the phone, but weird enough. My book's not that horrible, but I really do think the end falls apart, somehow.

Man.

Somebody stole my time-travelling geckos idea.

Somebody stole my time-travelling geckos idea.

Go with the tap-dancing unicorns.

Go with the tap-dancing unicorns.

Unicorns don't tap-dance, foolish one.

They cha-cha.

For the food and emotions challenge: The Meal Life Cycle The Meal Life Cycle

Day 1.”Yay, chicken. I love chicken. Why don’t we have this more? I’ve missed it.”

Day 2.” I took it for lunch and it was even better the second day.”

Day 3. “Guests...well we can give them leftover chicken...”

Day 4. “I was really hoping for take-out tonight.”

Day 7 “What was this in the covered dish? It kind of looks like chicken. Maybe the dog will eat it.”

Day 20: Nah...don’t want that again. Too heavy. Why not just bake a chicken?”

Unicorns don't tap-dance, foolish one.

They cha-cha.

You've been away from the Midwest for a long time, grasshopper. You missed the memo.

Unicorns don't tap-dance, foolish one.

I saw an Indianapolis police horse do the achy-breaky once.

Can you get cashmere wet without ruining it? Just damp, not soaking. If you do, what happens to it?