Much better, Typo. Sounds good. I would read it.

Yep. One thing to remember is, the agent/editor aint necessarily an expert who wants the stats upfront. What they're looking for is a reason to think they ought to buy it.

That has me inntrigued, TB.

Right. Deb has seen the proposal as a whole. with this change is there anything I've left out in that regard?

And just for more feedback, here is the query letter that is intended to elicit the request for a proposal:
======================
Date

Re: Query about "Cooling It! No Hair Shirt Solutions to Global Warming"

Dear Firstname Lastname

"Cooling It! No Hair Shirt Solutions to Global Warming", an optimistic book about a gloomy subject, explains the hundreds of existing technologies that together can completely replace fossil fuel at an equivalent cost – ranging from mid-priced 200 MPG cars to affordable solar electricity.

Unlike most renewable energy books, it emphasizes technology available on the market today with a net cost comparable to fossil fuel – dealing only briefly with future breakthroughs. Unlike most global warming books it focuses on solutions - spending little time trying to convince the skeptical quarter of the population that the problem is real. By concentrating on the technical case, it makes an urgent social point; political decisions, not technical incapacity are behind continued carbon emissions. Destructive expensive burning of fossil fuels, or dramatic cuts in standard of living are not our only choices. One of the leading experts who have reviewed and provided blurbs for Cooling It! called it “wonkery with attitude”.

Its primary market will be found among the over five million people who are either active paying members in environmental organizations or are paid subscribers to environmental publications.

The complete draft in manuscript form is about 51,000 words of main text; end matter (much of which might be placed on-line) brings the word total to 92,000. Permissions for quotes beyond fair use need to be obtained.

I’m a long-time environmental activist whose professional technical background, combined with a past as a public affairs researcher gave me the ability to compile the breadth of information this book required. As a major co-blogger at MaxSpeak, and sometime featured author on Znet, and a participant on some widely read lists and boards, I have a significant market platform; I’m also very experienced in small group public speaking.

Thank you for considering "Cooling It! No Hair Shirt Solutions to Global Warming". I will be happy to send you a book proposal or other information you may request.

Sincerely myname and contact.

Gar, I do think I'd change one thing in the letter:

""Cooling It! No Hair Shirt Solutions to Global Warming", an optimistic book about a gloomy subject, explains the hundreds of ..."

That "explains", all by itself, is pinging me a bit. This is for mass market, yes? Not the educational market?

Maybe "...presents and explains..." or, even simpler "...takes an in-depth look at..."

Thanks. Change made.

I made my 2 page goal today. The goals, they are small, but they are manageable.

As it is, I almost blew myself off.

But I didn't! I am pleased.

Go, Erin!

And yeah, Gar, the letter with Deb's fix reads very well.

poetry is

poetry is
the curve of your shoulder as you
sleeping
reach for me

it is the way
you speak to a child
who drops his gaze under the
crushing
unbearable weight he carries
silently
until he can finally
give it to you

poetry
is your voice
on the telephone
because i am too terrified
to speak
for myself

it is
the way you relax
into me in the morning
at peace and
content
before the day
comes rushing to break
us

i know no better
poem
than that which we write
stanza after stanza
with the pen
of our life

I feel all empowered. I replied online to the biggest local tv news station's editorial supporting the constitutional amendment on marriage. I got a reply back from the head of editorial (or at least his address) saying that while they disagreed with me they appreciated the reasoned tone of my response, and they might consider using some of my response if I'd give them my number and address for their records. The protective private person in me said, "That station's owned by the LDS church, you'd be on record, think twice," but then then the Last Man at the Barricades in me said, "Do you stand by your words? Yes? Then prove it."

I sent them the info. We'll see if I get mentioned and if anyone I know watches editorials. I'm kind of a-twitter. KSL may be a mouthpiece of the church, but their news staff is very well respected.