I don't think Erin's going to have a problem there at all. I found what I'd read so far to be a good mix of action and dialogue, with lots of description.

I didn't say I thought Erin was going to have a problem with it. I don't think so either. I was answering a specific question about a general issue.

There is a story that Ernest Hemingway was once addressing a group of students. One student pointed out that, in the short story "A Clean Well-lighted Place," there's a long sequence of alternating dialogue between the Old Waiter and the Young Waiter, without any attribution. There's a point where it's really hard to tell who is talking, and it makes a difference in the story. Hemingway read through the exchange and replied, "It's perfectly clear to me."

The moral of the story: Don't be Hemingway.

Snerk.

The moral of the story: Don't be Hemingway.

hits the floor laughing

I'll be more specific, Deb. Erin was worried, I should have directed that straight to her. I never thought you thought she would have a problem.

Erin, don't worry! You're dialogue is great! I loved the banter with Mr. Inscrutable and her adding emphasis to it with the pointy shoes of retribution.

and, insent, Sail. Excellent feedback, sugar.

Good info on the dialogue. Having read 8 gazillion books in my life, I too detest he said/gasped/declaimed villianously BWAHAHAHA, but sometime you need someonee else to kick your ass and say SHOW ME, moron!

But, yo, sometimes I just like to be slapped around.

And I am double-spaced and page numbered and editing out italica and vague word choices as we speak.

Heh. I am evil, in that I submit with italics. So far, no problem, but then, I've been with my publisher for years and they're used to it.

I hate underlining with a stone raging passion. Visually for me, it turns the manuscript into a homework assignment from the 1960s.

I'm not cutting ALL italics, but Sail made some good calls re: overitalicsing.

Excellent feedback, sugar.

Thanks! ::wipes brow:: I was afraid you might think I was being too much of a hardass and wouldn't send me anymore to read. And that would have been a bad thing.

Erin, I need mine - I use them a lot in Haunted Ballads, to show where the voice being used is an excerpt from a manuscript or song snippet, or when one of the characters is hearing something supernatural.

If I had to underline all those, I'd run screaming; I'd find it unreadable.

But yep, if you're italicising as emphasis, that's a whole nother ball of wax.