I have to say, it amazes me that they've made you do it as long as they have. Are they very by-the-books corportate about stuff? I mean, they know your voice and your style and your level of professionalism with regard to deadlines, etc. There's no earthly reason they need more than an idea to buy, and frankly, they should be signing you up for more than one at a time, too.

They haven't made me do it - I've been doing it in self-defense. The problem is that the way they work, my worry is that they're going to pull a Cruel Sister and get back to me three months before they want the book and say, so is it ready? without ever bothering to offer on it.

I think they knew they could push Jenn around. They try that with my current representation...oh, man. Brains will leak out. NO one pushes BB around - the entire industry's been terrified of her for forty years.

If I keep doing these for them, things will change. They've already been put on notice. While my two reps were tagteaming my editor, they managed to frustrate her to the point of saying "Do you honestly think I can bring out every author on my list in paperback?"

And Marlene came right back "Do you honestly think I care about any other author on your list? I care about this one."

"Do you honestly think I can bring out every author on my list in paperback?"

And Marlene came right back "Do you honestly think I care about any other author on your list? I care about this one."

Heh. Good for her. That's exactly the attitude any good agent is supposed to have.

The problem is that the way they work, my worry is that they're going to pull a Cruel Sister and get back to me three months before they want the book and say, so is it ready? without ever bothering to offer on it.

That's just wrong. I hate when they know an author wants work, and will operate in self-defense, but the truth is no one with a track record should be writing anything more than a precis without an offer and a contract.

Oh, if I only ran the world of publishing...

I hate when they know an author wants work, and will operate in self-defense, but the truth is no one with a track record should be writing anything more than a precis without an offer and a contract

On this one, I screwed myself being such a good little Not!diva. Ruth knows exactly how fast I work - she once yelped at me "You write too fast! I can't get to it for another month!"

They know I don't miss deadlines. That's probably why I keep getting hit with impossible ones.

I'm thinking NSK would be a fun book to write. If they don't bite, I may do that one as a screenplay (oh God, do I even remember how to do it after FADE IN...?) but we shall see.

If it's a movie pitch, Deb, I would suggest not don't using a TV reference. I also think the "X meets Y" format is a little played out. Two of the most famous high concept pitches were "MTV Cops" which was the pitch for the original Miami Vice, and "Die Hard on a Bus," which was the pitch for Speed.

Yours don't have to be that short--but look for something immediately arresting, pithy and pop-culturally connected. It sucks to write one of these things when you want to say "Just read the material already, moron" but they're a selling tool.

Robin, that second paragraph? You essentially quoted my agent.

She came up with Lovejoy as a nice cultural reference: basically, an expert in an esoteric field, doing his thing and knowing where and how to research.

And yep, appears as if they may actually want me to do one of these in screenplay form, or at least be willing to do one in screenplay form; their guys seem to want that to approach Ewan McGregor's reps with.

I am happy. Just got off the phone with Ayelet Waldman who said, hell yeah, tell anyone looking at the Kinkaids I'll blurb. I love my friends. That blurb, from her, is a big damned piece of bait.

flail flail flail

Nice Agent Lady e-mailed. She liked the chapter outline (and said that some of it made her laugh out loud). Next up, writing sample chapters, and bribing Pete for some more illustrations so we can create a couple of sample pages for my agent to show to editors. Meep!

Whyfor the flail, sweetie? This is all good news, and we're all here as backup for the sample-chapter stuff.

I need to ping Roz and ask her to ask Charles Shaar Murray if he'd be willing to blurb.

Jeepers.

Jilli! Can I borrow your flail...?

Whyfor the flail, sweetie? This is all good news, and we're all here as backup for the sample-chapter stuff.

Oh, I know. However, I'm still in the OMG a literary agent contacted meeeee! And thinks my stuff is publishable! stage.

Jilli! Can I borrow your flail...?

You do realize that it's a toy bat that makes squeaky noises, right?

I'll take it. I need to re-hook with a humongous shadowy ghost from my past. Anything resembling a flail would be of the good and all of mine are blunt objects that damage the floors.

sj, that kicks ass. I just hope the blonde said it loud enough for the crowd of little wannabitchbe's to hear.

Thanks. Yes, she did, that day and many many times after that. That was the day I met T. She nearly got suspended one time for bitching them all out in the school yard when I was out sick one day.

Nice Agent Lady e-mailed. She liked the chapter outline (and said that some of it made her laugh out loud). Next up, writing sample chapters, and bribing Pete for some more illustrations so we can create a couple of sample pages for my agent to show to editors. Meep!

Woo Hoo!!!

Deb, I am sorry that the publishers are being so evil.