That's a nice one, connie. Reminds me of my grandfather; his first job after high school was as a "tack spitter." I'm not sure when or how, but he ended up being a probation officer in Detroit during Prohibition. I was fascinated by both jobs and always tried to get him to tell stories about them.

My copy edits for Cruel Sister have arrived.

Same copy editor I had last time. Mr. Anal-Retentive Worshipper of the OED Shortened. He of the four thousand post-it notes.

I want a gun.

Erm. So I'm about to do my first formal submittal to a paying market. Got my SASE, got my manuscript formatted, all that.

... er, what do I put in the cover letter other than, Dear So-and-So, attached please find my story "When Pigs Fly." Please let me know if you like it. Signed, me.

Any other publications or special knowledge that you have that has bearing. Otherwise, I think that's about the size of it.

deb, you could always do what my authors do with me: completely ignore my notes and send the proofs back with notes of their own!

Have I mentioned how I'm sick of being an editor?

Consuela, is it nonfiction? Tell them why they need to publish this, and why you're exactly the right person to write about it.

Nope, fiction. Basically I'm just saying, "here it is," and giving them a one-sentence descriptor of my background. I'm particularly appropriate for this one, but who knows whether they'll agree once they read the story.

'suela, straightforward cover letters, no frills. They're far more interested in what you're attaching, and if it's properly presented, than they are in the hi-there bit.

deb, you could always do what my authors do with me: completely ignore my notes and send the proofs back with notes of their own!

I never do that. Everything gets answered.

Guess what? There are six pages - crucial pages - missing from the MS they sent me. Pages 139-145, missing.

Betting that's my editor's fuckup. But right now, I'm in fullblown MS exacerbation, nonfunctional legs and jaw. There's a deadline of 7 April on this damned thing. I don't need this.

I'm competent. I may bitch like a raging river, but I'm ALWAYS competent. Why in hell can't they be?

Any writers want to try out for The Rolling Stone and a reality show? [link]

Any writers want to try out for The Rolling Stone and a reality show?

Oh. my. GOD.

runs screaming

Dude, my sister worked for and with Jann Wenner, back when the dreaded t.rex (whether I'm referring to the band or the big lizard, I'll leave up to your own instinct) roamed the earth. Very scary thought.

Any writers want to try out for The Rolling Stone and a reality show?

Sure. I'll be the guy on Thompson's acid who thinks he is Russell Crowe. Wait! Cameron Crowe.

One of those Crowe guys.