One part longing for love.
>The other, remembering...
I have forgotten to bring my heart.
Oh, yes. Yes indeed.
Aren't they something. They're like butterflies, or little pieces of wrapping paper blowing around.
Kaylee ,'Shindig'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
deborah grabien - Mar 03, 2006 7:16:59 am PST #5685 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Strix - Mar 03, 2006 11:50:36 am PST #5686 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger
Fuck, I just lost a long post. Goddammit.
EDIT: Oh, it's letting me post again.
Here, again with some changes: ___________________________________
I have sunk my white body
into oil-filmed waters.
I have risen, steam coiling, skin silken;
Trailed veils of scent across my neck; down
And through that secret valley of my breasts.
My violoncello hips sigh in the embrace of earth-deep velvet,
scent-proud breasts fight the delicate grip of silk.
Silver vines sparkletwine the pillars of my thighs:
my hair is a burnished gleam,
my eyes a Mediterranean dare.
Who speaks of my lips?
They speak of themselves.
I pause, one foot faltering on the threshold --
One half of me inside, the other
Out.
One part longing for love.
The other, remembering...
I have forgotten to bring my heart.
Deb, I'm glad you like the last stanza. It was the first one to come to me.
Bev, thanks for the so-useful tips! They make it better.
Zenkitty - Mar 03, 2006 1:58:45 pm PST #5687 of 10001
Every now and then, I think I might actually be a little odd.
Gorgeous, Erin.
SailAweigh - Mar 03, 2006 2:37:30 pm PST #5688 of 10001
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. That's how I feel from reading that.
Thanks, Erin!
Beverly - Mar 03, 2006 8:28:49 pm PST #5689 of 10001
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.
I love the alliteration of "one foot faltering".
The whole thing is lovely.
deborah grabien - Mar 07, 2006 6:55:32 am PST #5690 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Teppy? New topic?
Allyson - Mar 07, 2006 7:25:36 am PST #5691 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
My agent left my agency, and now I have a new agent. I'm freaking out a little (lot) about it. Mostly because I loved my agent not just as an agent but as a whole, loveable person.
Lost, now. The plan is to keep trudging through the manuscript, beefing things up, and such.
I think it'll be okay to talk to the editor as soon as the contract is signed by them, get a little more of a sense of what their ideas are.
Still, a bit lost.
deborah grabien - Mar 07, 2006 7:51:32 am PST #5692 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Allyson, having just changed agents myself about two weeks ago, I can empathise. It's scary.
Did she leave to go to another agency? Was there a choice to stay with her or stick with the current agency?
Allyson - Mar 07, 2006 9:55:03 am PST #5693 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
She doesn't really know, deb. Just a big lifechange. She's going to the Bay Area to start anew, and said of course she'll be there for me, cheering and supporting. Love. Her.
I'm sure the new agent will be cool, but I can't shake the thought that I'm a burden who has been tossed upon her, whereas Kate wanted me.
I FEEL LIKE A FOSTER KID.
deborah grabien - Mar 07, 2006 10:05:53 am PST #5694 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
I FEEL LIKE A FOSTER KID.
(sending virtual cookies, or real ones, if you'd like some)
I know. Not a good feeling - but if Bay Area Bound Agent likes the new one, you should be just fine. And no, she's unlikely to see you as a burden. For one thing? Book's sold.
So, you're proven goods.