Torture has been achieved.
Photo #6.
The Archaeologist
I wasn’t in long pants, yet. Those were reserved for Bob. He’d started wearing them two summers earlier. A year later, he went off to Oxford.
“I’m going to become the world’s greatest archaeologist,” he boasted.
I believed him. We’d spent summers digging up abandoned compost heaps in the backyard, getting grass stains on our knickers. Mother would complain about the cost of keeping us in worsted.
Yesterday, we received a telegram from the War Office along with a fancy medal in a box. Three months in the army and his convoy was blown up in the evacuation of Gaza.
You people are killing me with these. Sail, here's a spooky bit of synchronicity for you - I'd looked at that one and thought, hmmmm, Indiana Jones...? Young Indy?
I just finished reading "The Egyptologist" by Arthur Philips. It inspired me.
t dances into the thread
They liked my love scene! They liked my love scene!
OK, it was just a kissing scene, but a hot one. At least, it was meant to be hot, but I wasn't sure it actually was, because I don't yet have confidence in my ability to get Teh Sexy from my brain onto the page. So I was afraid it was too clinical or too cliche or too much or not enough or something. But they liked it! One group member, J (female) suggested I tone down one part that she thought was too much too soon, and A (male) said, "The upper half of my body agrees with you, but the lower half likes the way it's written."
t bounce bounce bounce
Bwah!
That's some good commentary there. I like A.
Oh, A is great, and has a wonderful eye for that perfect descriptive detail that says it all. One thing we were discussing after we agreed that I had, for the most part, written a satisfactorily hot scene was how the characters should react post-kiss when they realize that, oops, they've been doing something hella inappropriate and are now going to have to live with the consequences. We decided we needed some kind of action for Jack to go with his dialogue ("Bloody hell."), but J and I couldn't think what. A thought for a moment and said, "He'll be running his hand through his hair--because that's where Anna was touching him.") Perfect, no?
Definitely not too shabby. Will he be aware of it? Jack, I mean?
Will he be aware of it? Jack, I mean?
Yep, I think so. I haven't decided exactly where I'm going to switch into his POV, though--what I've got so far in this scene is all Anna.
"The upper half of my body agrees with you, but the lower half likes the way it's written."
Oh, honey. I think you have to type that up in pretty font, frame it, and place it somewhere in your sight line, when you're writing. What a great, great comment!
So, Jack's hand running through his hair, and comes away with a sense memory of Anna? And he knows it? Does she know it?
