"I don't know what this book is about, but it's FUCKIN' GREAT!" -- Deb G.

This would sell retail out.

Border's employees would be like ...

"Deb G!!? That Rowling chick can bite me! Buy Gus or die!"

Now I kinda want to get blurbs from all the writers I know.

"Erin's ass is a rich and heady experience: taut and supple throughout, with a subtle, haunting whiteness. She buffs it with a sure and steady hand in a breathtaking balancing act of deeply focused craft and natural artistry. A stunning debut."

"subtle, haunting whiteness"??

OMG, I just about swallowed my own tongue, laughing!!

"Erin brings a spice that has been sorely lacking in the sauces out there. Long may she vamp!"

"Erin's ass is a rich and heady experience: taut and supple throughout, with a subtle, haunting whiteness. She buffs it with a sure and steady hand in a breathtaking balancing act of deeply focused craft and natural artistry. A stunning debut."

We always suspected this, or even ... knew this. What was the point of this post?

What was the point of this post?

She wanted a blurb, she got a blurb. Not blurby enough? Here's yours:

"The Buffista body of literature is an absurdly varied one, but until now there has been no one to tell the untold stories of the Wisconsinite, the weremonkey, the remarkably tall. Gus is all three, and we are all the richer for it. His book is a quiet miracle. A benediction. A remarkably tall, faintly cheese-scented benediction."

Just giving Erin her due. And tee-shirt fodder.

Can I post the short-form synopsis for London Calling? My wonderful new agents have approved of it and I want to share.

Lessee, I feel the inspiration to Blurb Deb and JZ now:

"Deb G. is tart and bracing; she sizzles like prime rib on a grill, yet manages a smooth finish, like unto the silkiest creme brulee. An acquired taste, she nonetheless is a consistent crowd-pleaser. Recommended for the conneissieur with a sophisticated palate."

"JZ frolics and sparkles like a sunlight elf spinning through Prosecco fields, yet manages to surprise and tantalize with surprising hits of acerbic truths. Full-bodied, yet light and smooth, this frankly pretty blend is one to savor."

And yes, Deb!

Heh. Interesting that we're into food comparisons, here.

OK, synopsis. Would you read this?

LONDON CALLING: A SYNOPSIS

Book Three of the Kinkaid Chronicles takes JP and Bree Kinkaid to London for their long-delayed honeymoon, and then to the Cannes Film Festival - and leaves their happiness and safety threatened by unfinished business.

A quarter-century ago, legendary director Sir Cedric Parmeley filmed a rock and roll documentary about three bands, called Playing in the Dark. One of those bands was Blacklight. At the time, Blacklight refused permission for Parmeley to release it. Now in his eighties and living in the South of France, Parmeley has edited the film and gained approval. All three bands have agreed to play a concert at the Roman amphitheatre at Frejus, a spectacular venue near Cannes.

But when the film the band screens before the concert turns out to be different from the version they approved, all hell breaks loose. When Parmeley, now in his late eighties and senile, tries to rape Blacklight guitarist Luke Hedley's teenaged daughter, lead singer Mac Sharpe's Jamaican bodyguard, Domitra Calley, prevents it. His two bodyguards step in - and make it clear that there are old, ugly race issues at work in beautiful Provence.

The night of the screening, Parmeley's villa is blown sky-high, along with Parmeley and two others. When Domitra and Bree are arrested, JP makes a frantic call to San Francisco Homicide detective Patrick Ormand, to ask for help with a problem that's beginning to look like an international terrorist conspiracy. But JP has no way of knowing that they're about to flush a ghost from Patrick's own past. And Patrick's obsession is going to put Dom and Bree in the sights of a sniper's rifle, on the red-carpeted steps at Cannes.

Beginning with a death in the family and ending with a burial and a goodbye, London Calling takes on the issue of racism, and how musicians have fought it and succumbed to it. This is the third book of the Kinkaid Chronicles, rock and roll mysteries featuring JP Kinkaid, giving the reader an all-access backstage pass to how musicians work, live, and love.

In other news, statements for FFoSM and MG arrived from ex-agency. MG nearly earned out its advance in pre-orders; the statement is only through April of last year and 2500 of the 4000-book press run had been pre-ordered. FFoSM, on the other hand, is in deep financial water. And I don't get it. FFoSM, miles away, is the best book in this series.

People confuse me.