A nice hot memory. Hoping for more.

Downhill

John's at the wheel and we're heading into the City, California Hall, Copperhead gig in the basement.

"Okay back there?"

"Yeah, we're fine." Man, if John only knew. N's got his hand under my skirt and the brown eyes have me pinned and I'm doing my best not to whimper, but damn, he's a piano player, got magic in those fingers...

"What?" The road's tricky, and John knows I get scared; eyes front.

"She didn't say anything." N leans over, licks a drop of blood off my lower lip. Stifling noise, I've bit good and deep. "Just keep driving, mate."

I got a bunch of notes about my book, but there's a couple of notes on a story...actually a page of notes on Minearest and Dearest, that would make me ask questions of fellow Buffistas and fans that make me feel like a tool.

Do I have to do that?

ETA: I understand why the questions are interesting.

Allyson, could you put the questions up as an anonymous poll on your LJ, with screened comments? If so, would that make you feel less toolish?

I get why they're hard to ask, and why they're interesting, so I guess I'm just wondering if there's an easy way for you to ask them without making you want to vomit.

Oooh. That's a fabulous idea, Plei.

Honestly, I'm not sure that many people are even aware that Tim is a very good friend. Why would they be?

So I'm not sure how to ask the questions.

I'm with Plei: poll it.

Or - honestly - is it anything you can just ask Tim? Because the book is your baby and you need to figure out how to balance the respect for a friend and privacy issues and whatnot with what you need to get the book out there, in the best shape it can be.

The questions in a nutshell were about how other fans feel about a fellow fan like me being friends with the object of our fannishness.

What do other fans think about that? Is there some degree of jealousy? Do people respect me more because of my relationship with him?

Which are all questions that I agree are interesting to explore, but really, how do I find out?

I've encountered some assholeness about it from time to time, but it's tricky.

Huh. I just did the poll, and honestly, the questions seem to me to be just right.

Does the editor want a separate piece on the subject? Because there might be an interesting essay on the balance. Not even specifically about Tim - there's a sort of universal "YOU know WHO?" vibe that can trigger all sorts of weirdness. It becomes an interesting - if occasionally painful - way to separate out the friends from the whatevers.

Allyson, what's your lj handle? I wouldn't mind taking the poll (mine is sophiap, in case you wonder who that weirdo is who's filling out your poll).

I thought it was cool you know him, Allyson. Because I was able to talk to a writer about his work, and I like to do that. But it was not the first thing I knew about you, either, so I wasn't able to be all "She thinks she's Miss It," about it.

Hi Anne, my LJ is paperdol