We're taking a moment ... and we're done.

Oz ,'Chosen'


The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


erikaj - Nov 04, 2005 10:11:44 am PST #4793 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Yeah, I think so. Now he's a divorced prison guard living with his mama and no fun anymore.


Connie Neil - Nov 04, 2005 10:21:14 am PST #4794 of 10001
brillig

my take on the drabble

It was the late 60s. I knew nothing of life beyond the hills I was born in. Walter Cronkite stood next to a chalkboard and used unfamiliar words like Viet Cong and casualties.

The church gave us Trick or Treat for Unicef boxes, telling us it would help kids like us in other parts of the world. We went out, glad to help.

The people opening their doors lost their smiles, gave us candy but no coins. A woman pulled us in, sat us down in her living room, and told us that Unicef was a front for bad people and that the money would go to someone called Communists. Then she smiled, gave us candy, and sent us on our way.

I miss the hills. I don't miss the people.


Deena - Nov 04, 2005 10:22:10 am PST #4795 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara

Dear Lord, that gave me shivers.


Connie Neil - Nov 04, 2005 10:25:46 am PST #4796 of 10001
brillig

I want to show Hubby the color I think of as green, not this yellowy green they have in Utah. But I have no interest in interacting much with the people.


erikaj - Nov 04, 2005 11:24:38 am PST #4797 of 10001
Always Anti-fascist!

Wow, Connie, I could really relate. Not, like, note for note, but...


Anne W. - Nov 06, 2005 6:40:23 am PST #4798 of 10001
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

These drabbles are all amazing. Connie's gave me a chill, and Erika's put me into a thoughtful mood for a long, long time.


deborah grabien - Nov 06, 2005 8:04:34 am PST #4799 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Question for my London Calling WIP readers, specifically:

Having had JP give Patrick Ormand the basics of the firebombing, the dead bodyguard, the obvious, not-bothering-to-hide-it planting of evidence by the inspector from the Cannes police, and Bree and Dom's arrest in the prologue, should I do the entire scene from JP's eyes in chapter six?

I'm thinking yes. But opinions are of the good.


Amy - Nov 06, 2005 8:12:19 am PST #4800 of 10001
Because books.

I think so, Deb.


deborah grabien - Nov 06, 2005 8:20:10 am PST #4801 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Yep. The more I look at it, the more I think the visceral impact, its effect on JP, what causes the meltdown that makes him call Patrick Ormand, is needed.

Also coming up? Mac, as flipped as JP is, remembering how he met Domitra and why he hired her on the spot at a hundred grand a year plus bonuses to be his bodyguard. Enter Domitra's baby sister, Savannah.

Another question percolating in my head: because neither Bree nor Dom are French citizens (Dom's got a British passport, Bree has an American passport), I can't see the Cannes police keeping them locked up, can you? Too many calls to various ambassadors, too much bad publicity, and since the Inspector in charge of this one is a rightwing Aryan fuckheaded support of the racist antisemitic Le Pen party and also contributes to the illegal hate groups locally, he really doesn't want too much focus. He's going to be worried enough when Patrick Ormand comes to town, armed with Interpol credentials, and begins making connections about the dead guys and the missing guy.


Amy - Nov 06, 2005 8:24:34 am PST #4802 of 10001
Because books.

I can't see them keeping Bree and Dom locked up for long *after* Ormand arrives with his credentials, because that's when they'll know, Huh, this could look bad, etc. But maybe long enough to make everyone nervous?

The more I look at it, the more I think the visceral impact, its effect on JP, what causes the meltdown that makes him call Patrick Ormand, is needed.

Definitely. Also, you haven't been switching POV up to now, and it might be weird to start at this point. Unless you're meaning simply having JP go through the scene, rather than describe it in flashback, and not from someone else's POV.

Sorry -- that was muddled. I've got an antsy hero and a curious heroine on a dance floor at a wedding, and the hero's secret is about to rear its head, and I really need lunch. Also, I now have "Brick House" in my head because that's what the DJ is playing at the reception...