Do you guys throw things and slam things when fighting WITH people? I do it when I am alone (and did anyone mention slamming one's hand into the steering wheel in order to avoid killing bad drivers?) but I wouldn't throw anything at someone. My Ex-husband threw a vase of water in my face once and I still remember how bad it felt. He also broke a table with a glass top by turning it over during a fight. I broke a bowl during a fight with him--but I haven't done anything like that since we broke up.

I have never thrown anything at anyone or struck anyone out of anger since I was much, much younger. I have been known to hit a table or wall when I'm really pissed off at someone, though. But mostly throwing and/or hitting things only happens when the cause of my anger is not present. When the person is there to yell at its much easier to vent that way.

Robin, I never got physical fighting with someone I cared about, not ever.

But as I say, someone I loathed? I scared myself. The neurotic cow groupie who got her kicks from telling all the women of her acquaintance about how she'd done their boyfriends? Put her in the hospital and never even knew I was doing it.

That was the last time I physically lost my temper. I seem to have eradicated that.

I know guns work for some people, but I hate the damned things with a stone passion. Besides, as Peter Wimsey pointed out, you can duck a bullet, but cold steel has to go somewhere.

I *only* slam doors or throw things when I'm alone -- never while fighting with someone. And I've never been involved in a fight that got physical, even as a kid. Well, except for my little brother, who used to scratch me. I think I bapped him once or twice.

The only time I ever threw anything at someone was a can of baby formula at the ex-husband. Trust me, if it had hit him, it would have been worth it. Heck, I was more worried about replacing the window it nearly went through.

I have the potential for physical violence. But only when I'm in a completely blind rage. It's only happened once or twice in my entire adult life. I had to learn to control it as a child because I was rough-and-tumble and would strike out in anger easily--which I suspect comes from my mother who tended to punish us while still pissed off. I recall her discipline as being more angry than constructive.

It's also why I don't spank.

Cash, move over on the "control the blind rage" bench.

That's me. And I'm big enough to have done some damage.

I will occasionally pause to ask if I can throw something (usually my keys, which I will then throw on the ground over and over until I get a satisfying noise out of them), but that's a stress-release thing, and never aimed at someone.

Oh yeah. I spanked (more like a pat on the diapered rear), but had to quit when StY proved trenchantly stubborn, even when I paddled hard enough to break veins in my fingers.

Okay, a) I was raised in a "spare the rod" environment and had to *learn* alternate behavior, and b) I break veins in my fingers opening my lingerie drawer. So, that first paragraph? Not nearly as violent as it sounds.

That's me. And I'm big enough to have done some damage.

I just hate that pounding surge of adrenaline and the full-blown gut reaction to it. I've only ever reacted violently--not acted--which is to say I took out a guy who was trying to trample me at a concert and a girl who punched me in the face and ripped my shirt open because her friend liked a guy who liked me (I was 15, she was 18).

I've thoroughly examined it while trying to be detached and academic about it because it scares me how close I could be to that kind of instinctive violence.

I like to read about how women react to that feeling, though, if it's well done. Because I can't usually find the words to describe how I felt at those distinct moments.