my contribution to "Rain"
My Worst Rainstorm Ever
“Lord, save us!” an unnatural soprano voice cried out.
It was true that the sky had just frickin’ opened up that night, in end of season monsoon excess, beaded-curtain swaths of water to boggle my parched desert soul, and I looked forward to playing with hailstones because they fascinated me.Thirteen, I looked to my mother to plant the smackdown on what she would call”Sarah Bernhardt” behavior.But she didn’t do it because this woman and her husband, besides being wacky Christians, were my stepdad’s side-job tech clients.
It was a tough job. I’d heard him muttering darkly that of course they better have faith in God if they were dumb enough to think “Press any Key” meant “Delete”. Their machine had been in our new house for three days waiting for the Weirdos (It just said “Weir” on their mailbox)to be between Bible studies and deal with secular matters like databases and word processing.
When the storm started, James wanted to beg off until Monday again, but my mom said she hoped that he and The Weirdos’ PC would be very happy together, were that the case.”Get that thing out of my house.” She told him. “It feels like it counts my sins or something.”
James said he didn’t think that technology was generally available yet, and got The Look that we all dreaded. I could’ve told him, but he already thought I was fresh. So the date with the Weirdos was on.
Honestly, I could halfway relate to Mrs. W.’s sentiment because my mom and I had just had a wicked fight because she didn’t go out in the storm to get...some thing I needed for school the next week. I was torn between my frustration and feeling like a moron, and really hoping God didn’t watch all the time because I looked so bad. I snuffled.
“For Heaven’s sake, Erika,” Mom said(forgoing her usual “God damn it”...like in the Cosby routine, my brother was “Jesus Christ”) it’s not the end of the world."
“Actually it is,” Mrs.Weirdo said, looking almost pretty with all the color in her face. “The 700 Club” had a show on it this morning.”
”Our neighborhood just needs storm drains.” Mom replied.
Left with that evidence of our apostasy, Mrs. Weirdo prayed along with every thunderclap, sometimes with added wailing, and I wondered what her damage was. I would be scared if there was a flood because I wasn’t sure there was a Heaven, but maybe she was loud because she wasn’t sure.
“Ma, is she crazy?” I asked, in the other room.
“Yeah. I want you to respect people’s faith, but, yeah, probably. Crazy and rich, so don’t say anything.”
“I thought I wasn’t supposed to care if people were rich.”
“It doesn’t make them better, but James needs this contract.”
“I hope they go home soon.”
”Amen.”
t puts in order for both books
I have a dumbass question because i am woefully ignorant of publishing. My agent sent me the final draft of the proposal, and I like it and all, and she made this comment, "you'll just have to take out
all the stuff like "joss whedon, writer of the Buffy series" that appears
more than once. Once you've said it and people are reading straight through, it's as if they're characters and the reader knows who they are. But by then you'll have an editor and you and he/she can iron that out."
I'm too embarassed to ask her, but dont I have to pay for an editor? Aren't they very expensive?
No, no! She means, if a publisher buys the book and wants to publish it. Actually, an editor will do that -- she'll submit to acquiring editors at different houses, and if one of them buys the book, s/he will be your editor, going through the book with you to make any revisions *s/he* wants, and shepherding it through the publishing process. That doesn't cost you a thing -- they pay *you* money to buy the book. (An advance against royalties.)
Oh, that's another question. If they send me a 5k advance (i have no idea what the common advance is), and the book doesnt make that much, do i owe them the difference? How does that work?
Nope, you don't owe it back -- they take that risk. But you won't make any royalties until you "earn out" your advance. And royalties are a percentage based on the cover price -- say, 7% of $12.99 or something.
As as advance, you could be right on the mark there, or low, depending on the house.
Amy answered everything. Yay!
Allyson, she means the publishing editor. I've got Ruth Cavin at St. Martins Minotaur, and then you get a copy editor assigned, but it's on the publisher's wallet, not on you.
Nope, you don't owe it back -- they take that risk. But you won't make any royalties until you "earn out" your advance. And royalties are a percentage based on the cover price -- say, 7% of $12.99 or something.
This is something I've wondered about. I think maybe deb talked about earning out her advance before, and it frightened heck out of me, because yo, don't give me money if I have to give it back.
There are some circs in which you do have to pay back an advance - if you get, say, half on signing of contract and the other half on said manuscript to be turned in, and usable, by such and such a date, you had best turn it in by that date. I know of at least one author - no, not naming names - who got a huge advance on the third or fourth book in her series, and never finished it. She ended up having to pay it all back.
So, if you don't deliver, you're usually on the hook. But once they approve it and bring it out, it's a done deal. And yep, the earning out is the yummy part; I've paid back the advance on "Weaver", any returns that were going to be returns have now been returned, and now anything it earns through sales is gravy.
Plus, hoping the nice man at Amy's old house - who presently has that Haunted Ballad series on his desk, but at last ping hadn't read it yet - looks at the shiny PW starred review and goes for it. Because any paperback deal, at this point, would damned near pay off the advances on all three of the books with outstanding balances.
This is all very complex. I hope I make enough to pay off a credit card, or at the very least, to buy a nice steak dinner and a pretty dress.
