The first time I attempted cooking, I was confident. After all, Mom always seemed to be able to take the most unlikely collection of ingredients and transform them into a meal—why shouldn't I be able to do the same? Besides, I was starting simple: stew. Homemade, of course, since I wanted to impress a certain blue-eyed blonde I'd invited over.

Start with onions. Simple enough.

Peel. Hm. That doesn't look right. Maybe another layer? Huh. No, still not right. Another. Another. Anoth...

How many layers down does this thing go? I'm afraid I'm about to find out.

Oh, dog, Kristin. I've been there, so...there.

(blinking at Kristin)

Your eyes didn't explode, peeling all those layers? Dealing with onions is the only thing in cooking that makes me nuts, because my eyes burn out within seconds.

Kristin - really? Or is it fiction? Do you guys not do Home Ec at school? 'cause if not - wow. Bless you.

Dad let me peel my first few onions on my own, I think just to enjoy watching the effect. Then he showed me what a difference it made to do it under the running cold tap. I was mad at him at first, but I certainly learned the lesson.

Then he showed me what a difference it made to do it under the running cold tap. I was mad at him at first, but I certainly learned the lesson.

Right up until the point that the person showing you the cold running water trick neglects to mention what happens when you drop wet onions - even damp onions - into a frying pan containing sizzling butter or olive oil.

The burn healed eventually, but I was seriously pissed off.

I didn't get burned, but Dad thought it was pretty funny when the pop!crackle!sizzle! made me jump. Not something to forget, though.

I've always found that chilling the onions before chopping reduces the weepy effect. Since I do most of my prep in advance, the onions are usually up to room temp by the time they go in the oil.

I've always found that chilling the onions before chopping reduces the weepy effect.

That's my first line of defence, but it doesn't seem to work for me. Damn it.

I'm very thankful that all my local markets sell fresh onions, and fresh garlic, and all sorts of fresh prep veggies (celery, carrots, etc, as well as the stinky yummy stuff) already chopped.

Kristin - really? Or is it fiction? Do you guys not do Home Ec at school? 'cause if not - wow. Bless you.

Not Kristin, but at our school, Home Ec was an elective. My mother wouldn't let me take it, or sewing for that matter. Something about academics blah blah blah. :)