Kaylee: Captain seem a little funny to you at breakfast this morning? Wash: Come on, Kaylee. We all know I'm the funny one.

'Heart Of Gold'


The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...  

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Strix - Feb 16, 2005 3:58:14 pm PST #31 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

This whole conversation made me think "I STILL want to know what that old lady saw that was "nasty in the woodshed."

That was a great ambiguous way to build up suspense. Granted, we never found out, but it sure has hell kept me wondering. Maybe references to ordinary objects or places that build up a "some thing happened" suspense, but don't let the readers know too much, like "the sight of the lone pink bootie sent her into tears."


deborah grabien - Feb 16, 2005 4:12:35 pm PST #32 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

(nodding at Erin's post)

It's a very fair way to build up suspense, besides being a strong one. After all, if a casual sentence suddenly has her sinking her teeth into her lower lip for a moment, the clue will be there, in the sentence, but you, as the author, won't have given it away too early.

I like subtlety. Subtlety is good.


Susan W. - Feb 16, 2005 4:18:44 pm PST #33 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

Can the existence of said secret be shown to the reader by way of "her face suddenly smoothed out, becoming blank" moments or incidents, as seen by others?

Hmm. That'd be tough, both because so far the only POVs I'm planning to use are Anna's and Jack's, and also because I can't offhand think of many noncontrived ways for the topic to come up.

(I.e., a whole bunch of "she hadn't felt this happy in three years," or having her obviously change the subject when the conversation gets too close to whatever the secret is, or other things within her behavior, rather than just "There was something big that happened then" statements.)

I'm definitely going to make sure to vary the hints as much as I can. Hopefully that'll cut down on any annoyance factor.

That's why you have good betas, doll. You're smart; you know the pitfalls. It'll be ok.

This is true. For someone who threw out my first chapter and wrote a completely new 28-page first chapter the first week of this month, then spent the second week beating it into revised submission to make a contest deadline, I have a bad habit of forgetting you can always change something that's not quite working.


Strix - Feb 16, 2005 4:23:22 pm PST #34 of 10001
A dress should be tight enough to show you're a woman but loose enough to flee from zombies. — Ginger

Is is something that could be up in Anna/Kack's convo with others? Like, for instance, if it were a secret baby, s/he could overhear gossip about a suddenly-married girl, and....oh, yeah, I see your difficulty better now.


deborah grabien - Feb 16, 2005 5:01:42 pm PST #35 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.

Susan, BTW, you might want to ping livejournal; they've been claiming your journal is in read-only mode for over an hour.


Deena - Feb 16, 2005 5:25:35 pm PST #36 of 10001
How are you me? You need to stop that. Only I can be me. ~Kara

Just caught up in the last thread. Liese, I MUCH prefer the second version. It's got more...texture. I'd love to hear it, if you do upload a copy.


Polter-Cow - Feb 16, 2005 5:31:59 pm PST #37 of 10001
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

Susan, BTW, you might want to ping livejournal; they've been claiming your journal is in read-only mode for over an hour.

I'll bet she's on Filetmignon. We've been getting that for a week now. It goes off and on. Grar.


Susan W. - Feb 16, 2005 7:16:33 pm PST #38 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

I'll bet she's on Filetmignon. We've been getting that for a week now. It goes off and on. Grar.

Yep. It's usually fine in the morning and late at night, but it cuts in and out afternoons and evenings. I think they're working on it or upgrading something, and it's not like I have much right to complain since I'm just using the free account.


Topic!Cindy - Feb 17, 2005 12:50:06 am PST #39 of 10001
What is even happening?

Twice, Susan. One hint, I'm likely to forget or not notice. Three hints or four hints--I guess, but then it better be earth shattering, and sort of echoing Hil, there'd better be detail I never could have imagined, but that's awfully important to the story. Two hints are okay.


erikaj - Feb 17, 2005 5:04:57 am PST #40 of 10001
If Scooby Doo taught me anything, it's that the only thing to fear is real-estate developers.Lisa Simpson

This ending? Hardest.Thing.Ever. I think because, even though I know intellectually that it's not supposed to be good right now, I want it to be so much that it's hard to commit myself to errors, possible sucking, and mess.The great ones make it look so easy.I get shy and remember I don't know what I'm doing and then I can't do it.