This whole conversation made me think "I STILL want to know what that old lady saw that was "nasty in the woodshed."

That was a great ambiguous way to build up suspense. Granted, we never found out, but it sure has hell kept me wondering. Maybe references to ordinary objects or places that build up a "some thing happened" suspense, but don't let the readers know too much, like "the sight of the lone pink bootie sent her into tears."

(nodding at Erin's post)

It's a very fair way to build up suspense, besides being a strong one. After all, if a casual sentence suddenly has her sinking her teeth into her lower lip for a moment, the clue will be there, in the sentence, but you, as the author, won't have given it away too early.

I like subtlety. Subtlety is good.

Can the existence of said secret be shown to the reader by way of "her face suddenly smoothed out, becoming blank" moments or incidents, as seen by others?

Hmm. That'd be tough, both because so far the only POVs I'm planning to use are Anna's and Jack's, and also because I can't offhand think of many noncontrived ways for the topic to come up.

(I.e., a whole bunch of "she hadn't felt this happy in three years," or having her obviously change the subject when the conversation gets too close to whatever the secret is, or other things within her behavior, rather than just "There was something big that happened then" statements.)

I'm definitely going to make sure to vary the hints as much as I can. Hopefully that'll cut down on any annoyance factor.

That's why you have good betas, doll. You're smart; you know the pitfalls. It'll be ok.

This is true. For someone who threw out my first chapter and wrote a completely new 28-page first chapter the first week of this month, then spent the second week beating it into revised submission to make a contest deadline, I have a bad habit of forgetting you can always change something that's not quite working.

Is is something that could be up in Anna/Kack's convo with others? Like, for instance, if it were a secret baby, s/he could overhear gossip about a suddenly-married girl, and....oh, yeah, I see your difficulty better now.

Susan, BTW, you might want to ping livejournal; they've been claiming your journal is in read-only mode for over an hour.

Just caught up in the last thread. Liese, I MUCH prefer the second version. It's got more...texture. I'd love to hear it, if you do upload a copy.

Susan, BTW, you might want to ping livejournal; they've been claiming your journal is in read-only mode for over an hour.

I'll bet she's on Filetmignon. We've been getting that for a week now. It goes off and on. Grar.

I'll bet she's on Filetmignon. We've been getting that for a week now. It goes off and on. Grar.

Yep. It's usually fine in the morning and late at night, but it cuts in and out afternoons and evenings. I think they're working on it or upgrading something, and it's not like I have much right to complain since I'm just using the free account.

Twice, Susan. One hint, I'm likely to forget or not notice. Three hints or four hints--I guess, but then it better be earth shattering, and sort of echoing Hil, there'd better be detail I never could have imagined, but that's awfully important to the story. Two hints are okay.

This ending? Hardest.Thing.Ever. I think because, even though I know intellectually that it's not supposed to be good right now, I want it to be so much that it's hard to commit myself to errors, possible sucking, and mess.The great ones make it look so easy.I get shy and remember I don't know what I'm doing and then I can't do it.