Very nice, erika. Same theme, but totally different.
Looking Glass War
She gets up in the morning and looks in the mirror. It’s always the same face; same brown hair, same green eyes. There’s nothing special about the broad cheeks, narrow lips, and downward drooping eyes. She strokes blush in layers over her cheeks attempting to lengthen the face. Lines her lips to make them plumper and lines her eyes to make them wider with a bit of an upward tilt at the outer corner. Beneath the bright lights of the mirror, she can see no flaws. It’s only as she turns that the shadows catch her eye. Who is that?
As is very often when I write nowadays, am wishing I hadn't been quite so honest.
Oh, yeah, we can tell where my mind is going with this...
An average woman, an average life. The usual loves and hatreds. She raises her hand in support after others have already broken the surface of the status quo, but she's not the first to take her support away, either.
Decent enough. Her family will not be featured in any story where the neighbors say, "They were such nice folks, never bothered anybody." Neither will there be stories saying "The community honors one of their own."
She pauses sometimes to watch those neighbors, to think thoughts in the privacy of her mind. Her shadow imagines bloodstains on its hands.
edit:
no, it's not me
Deb, I'd be happy to take a look.
I haven't beta-ed for you before, Deb, but I'd be happy to, if you'd like. Profile addy is good.
I could also use a beta reader or two, ideally someone who hasn't read the wip before--I spent the afternoon tweaking my first chapter again, and I want a fresh set of eyes to have a look at it.
I'd be happy to look at it, Susan.
As is very often when I write nowadays, am wishing I hadn't been quite so honest.
Well, yeah, because this is raw:
It’s just, totally obvious.I’m just, like nothing? Mom says it’ll get better one day, but she’s my mom, what would she say? That she got pregnant with a nobody? Especially after almost dying over it? I think not.She has to at least fake like we’re something, or her life’s a big waste.
I mean "raw" as high compliment, but I'm raw myself, just from reading it.
Susan, I can't read it tonight, but I can try for tomorrow morning (my morning) if you want to send it. Gmail is good. I think we've exchanged emails, when I've used that address.
Sail, the end of yours gave me goosebumps. Connie, your drabble would have given me goose bumps, but then you disclaimered yourself and made me laugh. We know it's not you, you goober (or is it...)
