The desert lay before him, on the other side of the steering wheel. It was a big desert. Big and empty and dry. Like his heart.
"Good," Jake thought, throwing a cigarette butt out the window into the hot, scorching air of the empty desert. "This desert is the only place I belong right now."
He knew his sensitive soul wouldn't be able to survive in a place teeming with other people's emotions, assaulting him with every breath he took, every thump of his heart. No, he needed this broiling hot vista, because it was empty.
So he drove on.
[[100 words exactly!]]
I'm thinking "Desert."
Heh. That wouldn't be too subtle? I mean, I want people to *feel* the metaphor of the desert, man....
(I may have to leave town after this one. This one's for erika. With apologies to Dashiell and also to Mr. Chandler...)
Framed
She was hotter than the Sunset Grill that time the cook spilled the sterno. Curves, smoky voice - everything about her yelled sex, but there was ice in her wounded bunny eyes.
Her lips trembled as I poured her a shot of rye from the flask in my desk drawer. "So what's your beef, sweetheart?"
"Call me Jessica." The story poured out, same old story I hear every day. Cheating husband, empty bank account, evidence. She needed a PI. She wrote me a retainer.
"I'll call you when I have something." I glanced at her signature, and added, "Mrs. Rabbit."
Oh, rassenfrassensnifsnaf, you guys are killing me! There's no way I can ever write that bad. Guess I'm going to have to learn to write better first, so I can learn how to even write bad well.
I'm finding that it's actually more difficult to write really badly.
I agree, Cashmere, but it's fun. I was snorting as I ended mine.
Hee.
I'm noticing that writing bad is where style comes in. There's more than one way to write badly. (And I probably just broke a grammar rule there that is also a form of "bad" writing, but some of the rules confuse me. I need a remedial.) It's not just being over-prosey with the adverbs, it's also stating the obvious, over and over. I just can't seem to do that, something in my brain resists. Must.Try.Harder.
The flame-haired Commander smiled, her amethyst eyes glinting with amusement. She picked up the goblet crafted of glowing green Lycanium, mined here on Lasnos by the serving class, the Ga'a'a'aks, who were remarkable for their large stature in comparison to their overseers, the Ha'a'a'ch'a, who were smaller but had one more arm and a greater understanding of the sacred texts of Lycak which they shared with the true ruling class, who could be mistaken for Ha'a'ach'a by off-worlders, for the only difference was their use of the familar tense in the Lycanian Lypish dialect used in business dealing. "This is delicious" she said in flawless Lypish and downed the thick, smoking liqueur.
It's not just being over-prosey with the adverbs, it's also stating the obvious, over and over.
I think there are many different ways to write badly, and not all bad writing has each type of clunker in it. An excessively adverbed novel might not fall prey to stating the obvious. A piece that clunks along awkwardly and dully might not run amok with adverbs.
The beauty of bad writing is the multitide of ways in which it can be done.
