I'm having issues.
Everyone who has read Safe Harbor from Ann Arbor (the story of ita and I cohabitating) says, "I love this, it's too short."
I feel like lengthening it, getting into the personal stuff of it is a violation of ita's privacy, more than I'm comfortable with.
I'm not sure where to go with it, but when everyone gives that exact same feedback, I have to find some way to elaborate.
Allyson, I don't remember - is that one the inaurgural essay in the book?
Nope, I think the inaugural is going to be the title essay.
Then, yes, it may want to be a bit longer. I know it was the first one I got to read, but that didn't mean you were leading off the book with it.
Hmmmm. May I reread, please?
Yes, please - because from what I remember of it, in terms of how it's structured, I think it can be expanded not only without stepping on ita's space, but in a way that's both fluff-free and relevant to the rest of the book.
Whoa, Deb. Those last two lines pack a huge punch.
I'm having issues.
Allyson, what about comparing what it's like to go from talking about Buffy, let's say (metaphors, writing, characterization -- *big* kind of vague stuff), to talking about who used the last of the tampons, or whatever?
Also, personal essays don't have to be up to AP standards. If a real person you want to write about loved chocolate and purple sweaters, you can make that Twizzlers and red skirts in your piece.
THERE WILL BE NO TWIZZLERS!!
Allyson -- why don't you see what you want to write, and I'll see if any of the bits of my life make me feel oogie.
ita, one of the things I wanted to look at in that one particular essay was how Allyson herself - her own presence in that one piece - felt against a few of the others. In her piece about Tim, for instance, she was so beautifully present, just so there, that it knit everything together. I'm wondering if a bit of that might not be what's needed for your piece.
What are Twizzlers? Are those those braided things that taste like stale sugary Pernod?
Deb, I think that's among my favorites of your drabbles, ever.
t nods sagely at all the advice to Allyson