After all the apartment talk in Natter, I had to...

I moved in sight unseen, paying twice the price for half the space as I had before. But it had high ceilings and a beautiful wood windowsill. The walls had been painted by the previous tenant, purple opposite exposed brick, yellow behind the kitchenette, green in the bathroom. I gave the “grand tour” standing still – the back wall was the kitchen; my bed, taking up half the floor space, was my bedroom; the new chair facing the tv was my living room. I moved into that apartment with no money and no job, happier than I had been in years.

Jesse, that's great!

Oooo...Kristin and Jesse, both wonderful.

I'm gonna take a stab...

I haven’t been near it for three days. Thankfully, I live alone; no one else has been subjected to the smell that is me. My bed has been my home for those three days…maybe more. I cannot move. I cannot think. I cannot motivate. My therapist would tell me it is time for some opposite action. I would tell her to fuck off.

But, maybe she has a point. Just one small thing. I turn the water on and sit on the bathroom floor, just listening while the drain swallows twenty minutes worth of water. The bathroom is a fog of steam. I hang my bathrobe on the hook and begin pulling off the pajamas I have lived in for god only knows how long. Time for some laundry, I think. But for now, just one thing. I step in the tub and let the water take over.

I adore Jessie and VW's so very much.

Two Syllables

It's just a word.

It's not fancy, you know? Two syllables, seven letters. It's basic, so very basic, so small.

Songs, poetry, laments, bitter angry tears and the frost of time passing: so much, so many, all the spoor and trailing shadows, the results of simply opening my mouth, of forming two syllables, of speaking one small word, letting you hear it, knowing it can never be retracted: I didn't mean it I didn't mean it please let's start over

All meaningless. One word, two syllables, a small sorry word, is the stuff Pandora let out of the box.

Goodbye.

This whale is too small.

Did I mention how very much I love this line?

I couldn't seem to find anything angst-worthy to write about. My offering is a tad on the more mundane side.

It's a Small, Small World

The metal prongs stood up from the green background like the iron girders that composed the skeleton of all the world’s skyscrapers. Around the girders were paths crisscrossing the background, a finely-woven map grid of gold. Here and there wells of silver spotted the landscape, yet no water would ever flow from them. A hot metal tool transferred its heat to the girders, softer metal flowing around them, cementing them to the ground. Faint wisps of smoke drift up from the metal as the coolant burns off. Finally, the microscope arm swings away. The printed circuit board repair is completed.

small thing

In a walking-on-eggshells way, we were getting along wonderfully. I joked, he laughed, he liked that I was smart, we agreed on dinner. Still cautious, though, still reserving judgement and decision on where the night would end.

He got up to go to the bathroom. "Be right back," and he brushed his fingers across the back of my hand on the table.

It was a couple of minutes before my breath evened out. I felt that touch hours later, even among all the others. I loved him for years.

Man, this is one diverse topic.

Loving these drabbles.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Know what I got in the post today?

A royalty cheque! For Weaver!

It's just a small one, $132 after commission, but it means "Weaver" earned out. And the sight of this cheque makes me so happy, you can't imagine.

Also? The pre-release figures for FFoSM were included. I looked at them, expecting all zeroes, because the statement is through October 2004 and FFoSM's official release date was the 4th of November, and you know what?

It had almost earned out in presale. $5000 plus in pre-release orders.

I am a happy, happy woman.