When I first write things, I suspect they come out as if spoken, much of the time, hence the fragments. Now I hate it because I have to clean it up.
I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.
Cheese Man ,'Chosen'
The Great Write Way, Chapter Two: Twice upon a time...
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
erikaj - May 03, 2005 8:00:41 am PDT #1682 of 10001
I'm a fucking amazing catch!--Fiona Gallagher, Shameless(US)
Allyson - May 03, 2005 8:01:33 am PDT #1683 of 10001
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
I don't consider the long, convoluted sentence thing to be a grammar issue; it's a crafting issue to me.
Yes. This. It's one of my bigger weaknesses as a writer. Many commas, and not a period to be found for inches.
Betsy HP - May 03, 2005 8:04:09 am PDT #1684 of 10001
If I only had a brain...
Furthermore, "I have no idea what this sentence means" (which I have been known to write on close friends' betas) is absolutely a craft issue.
Susan W. - May 03, 2005 8:05:58 am PDT #1685 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
I just thought you didn't like my stuff and did what you could to help.
Not at all! I loved your stuff, which is why all I did to the piece you sent me was suggest rewordings, because I thought it was already wonderful and all I could do was offer ways to polish and tighten it a bit to make it sing even more.
deborah grabien - May 03, 2005 8:06:29 am PDT #1686 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
It's one of my bigger weaknesses as a writer. Many commas, and not a period to be found for inches.
If so, you're in very good company. I get just as twitchy with hyper-short sentences as I do with the convoluted ones.
Also, personal peeve: the "cut every possible thing out, it's all fat anyway" school. Dudes, get over it, you are not Sir Thomas Malory and you aren't writing "Le Morte d'Arthur", and three-word sentences that dangle like limp genitalia make me want to forcefeed your frontal lobes with words. Half the time, the writer is cutting muscle and bone.
erikaj - May 03, 2005 8:06:41 am PDT #1687 of 10001
I'm a fucking amazing catch!--Fiona Gallagher, Shameless(US)
Yeah. I have a few of those...hopefully I fixed them.ETA: What does this mean? type sentences. As I write crime, maybe I want my sentences to be too short, too.
deborah grabien - May 03, 2005 8:08:45 am PDT #1688 of 10001
It really doesn't matter. It's just an opinion. Don't worry about it. Not worth the hassle.
Heh. I just don't get how and when and where and why the idea that taking a complete thought of fifteen words, and deciding that it reads better as four tiny incomplete sentences, became so desirable.
Truth to tell, I go red-pen manic over those, unless they're rare, and in dialogue.
Betsy HP - May 03, 2005 8:09:47 am PDT #1689 of 10001
If I only had a brain...
This is why every writer has, at one time or another, been tempted to buy a rubber stamp that reads "Stet".
erikaj - May 03, 2005 8:10:40 am PDT #1690 of 10001
I'm a fucking amazing catch!--Fiona Gallagher, Shameless(US)
They think they're being staccato, Tarentino, and edgy, Deb.
Susan W. - May 03, 2005 8:11:33 am PDT #1691 of 10001
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
(I think I'm a natural-born copy editor and NSM a natural-born critic, but didn't realize it until recently, when I started judging writing contests. Those scoresheets, for all their flaws, force me to figure out and explain why some stories wow me and others leave me yawning and saying, "Bored now." Which is making me a better critique partner, but it's a learned process for me.)