"Badges...we don't need no stinking badges."

Can you believe I gave in to the desparation of being able to finish a stupid story in Word and went out and bought a new computer? Yeah. Wow. But, it's pretty loaded for a laptop, so I'm happy.

Huh.

I just got an email related to a query that was rejected months ago. Apparently it was still floating around somewhere, because I just got an email from an assistant editor who does one of the front-of-the-magazine department sections wanting me to submit on spec.

Mind you, I'd rather not write on spec in an ideal world, but it'd make a great clip for my portfolio, and it's a magazine I'd love to have in my list of places I've been published.

Here's my plan:

1. Thwap self over head for throwing out all copies of said magazine in my last cleaning frenzy--DONE.

2. Try to look up appropriate department of magazine online to get a feel for how my idea would fit into that length and format. Or drive to mall and buy copy if necessary--DO RIGHT AFTER FEEDING HUNGRY CHILD.

3. Email editor back. Ask when she wants it, and how much she'd pay if it was accepted. --DO NO LATER THAN TOMORROW A.M.

4. If answers are satisfactory, write frantically.

Does that sound like the appropriate, professional way to handle this?

No. Number 2 makes you look like an amateur.

Have husband buy copy of magazine on way home from work.

(tangent) Does anyone know why, or how, or when, the word "amateur" got saddled with such negative connotations? Because it comes from the Latin root "amat", meaning love. So an amateur is someone who does something for the sheer love of what it is they're doing. I can't for the life of me figure out when that became a negative. (/tangent)

For me, it's only a negative when it is used as the opposite of professional, and professionalism implies a certain level a accomplishment. An amateur birdwatcher or lathe-turner or sax player in a jazz combo would all be cool things to be and imply that level of passion for the work you were talking baout.

Well, since my joke was aimed at Susan being an amateur where her husband is concerned, the 'for love' definition makes it punnier.

Pretty is as pretty does

Blonde curls. Rosy cheeks. Eyes like wet forget-me-nots.

Beauty is reflected a thousand times in tiny, multi-faceted eyes. A small smile--cupid's bow lips drawing back to reveal perfect, pearly teeth as she peals the iridescent wings off another victim.

Ooooh, Cashmere, creepy.

Have husband buy copy of magazine on way home from work.

Heh. I'd do that, but:

1. I have to go buy a new toner cartridge anyway.

2. This is one of those cases where there are several magazines with very similar titles--X Digest, X Companion, X Monthly, The X, etc. I love DH. DH is very smart. But unless I nag him to the point of annoyance about making sure he knows the exact right title, there's a chance he brings home the wrong magazine. I won't.