Oh, Erin. I totally get the bristling and heels-digging-in-ness in response to nagging.
And yet... I nag people. I totally nag. Because, fuck, I'm selfish. You, for instance. I've only gotten to spend two weekends around you in my whole entire life, and I'm greedy and I want more. I don't want the people I love getting sick and spending their last years debilitated with ugly, incredibly cruel chronic illnesses, because the very thought of it makes me get gaspy and weepy and rageful at the universe.
So sometimes what comes out of my mouth or my fingertips at people is naggy, but what's going on underneath that is almost always, "NO NO NO. I love you. You are good and delicious and I FORBID you to leave this world ONE SECOND before you absolutely have to. Please?"
eta: That goes for you, too, Aimée, and Deena, and vw and Emily if you haven't quit already, and Cindy, and no doubt (to my distress) many others. Anyone who's a raging shithole, on the other hand? Go ahead, light up and be quick about it.
So sometimes what comes out of my mouth or my fingertips at people is naggy, but what's going on underneath that is almost always, "NO NO NO. I love you. You are good and delicious and I FORBID you to leave this world ONE SECOND before you absolutely have to. Please?"
JZ, if you don't mind, I'm going to print out that paragraph and carry it around with me to use when I need. Especially for when I start to ... remind Pete that he needs to eat vegetables.
I know, I know! And I prefer "bull-headed" so...there!
Dude, I am totally going to kick your ass if you get cancer. I will fly into Kansas City expressly for that purpose.
JZ, I'm also printing and putting it on my computer to read. I might pretend that Emeline said it, if you don't mind.
JZ, for the record, I've quit.
I marked your post, JZ. I will read it again later and appreciate it even more than I do now, which is saying a lot.
JZ, for the record, I've quit.
Gold star! Emily too, yes?
And also, while my friends and family and general loved ones are allowed to say, "I love you. I don't want you to get cancer, etc please quit." it drives me bugfuck for strangers to do it.
Watching my mother quit convinced me Tobacco is Serious Badness and it is probably the one bad habit not even part of me is drawn to. Which is saying something, I think.ETA: wrod, Aimee. Nagged by strangers is of the suck.
And, sometimes I have to tell people that care to step off, too.
Yes, even if they're right.
