Have fun, vw!
Yay! on the nice bookshelves, Deena.
Regarding yesterday's funerary discussion, DH and I have been extremely upfront, nay, adamant with each other and our kids. DH: cremated, his ashes strewn in three separate locations hundreds of miles apart. We may trek as a family to do the strewing, or the two sons and I may divvie up DH's ashes, synchronise our watches, go to the three locations and strew at the same moment. Don't know yet, that part's up to us.
Do.not.bury.me. Don't, just don't, or I will claw my way out of the box and come back and eat your braaaaaaiinnns. I promise. Vincent Price and Myrna Fahey and Mark Damon in House of Usher at a very impressionable age made a mark, oh yes it did. Buffy didn't help matters, either. Donation of anything donateable and body farming, or cut me in quarters and throw me to the wolves in a fenced preserve somewhere would be my first choice. Cremation as a last resort preferrable to burial.
I'm not a big believer in funerals, as such, or graveside services, but I've done both for people who wanted that, who very deeply believed they'd be resurrected whole when the time came and had nightmares about "waking up" in Heaven missing vital parts. I do believe survivors have a need to say goodbye, a need for closure, and so I support memorial services, whether or not the deceased is physically present. You all know my thoughts on roadside shrines memorializing a car-crash victim's last (likely panic and pain-filled) moments on earth. I also recognize the need of a specific place for survivors to feel like they can go to "talk" to their lost beloved, so I do see the need for a monument or marker of some sort.
My dad has half a plot and half a headstone with his own marker at the foot of the grave in the local cemetary. He and my mom seemed to derive some comfort from knowing where they'd be, and that they'd be properly marked, attributed, and together. My mom has a funeral arrangement in place, with a coffin and a vault already picked out and paid for. It gives her peace of mind, as it did my dad.
My father-in-law died suddenly and unexpectedly. There was no notice in the paper. My MIL called a few people later on in the week. The morning he died, she, my DH and BIL went from FIL's bedside to the mortuary and arranged for cremation. DH picked up the ashes, and the following weekend our entire nuclear family of seven gathered on a mountain that's a local milestone, and a favorite place of Dad's. Mom said a prayer and made a brief eulogy, and we scattered his ashes. The wind took them down over the mountainside. I had brought roses for each of us, and we scattered the petals on the wind as well.
We chose a moment for the actual scattering when there were no other tourists in sight. Otherwise we were just a family sightseeing.
My mom? Has never once been to the cemetary to visit Dad's grave. And every time any of our family drives by the mountain, we stop if there's time, and if not, we smile and remember Dad.
Sorry for the long. I just meant to say that there's no "right" way, unless your faith dictates what must be done. I do think the deceased's wishes should preclude those of the survivors' though. I say again: Do.Not.Bury.Me. Please, and thank you.