t signs

The attitude of the medical students towards the donated bodies freaked me a bit too much to donate mine. I understand the need and purpose, but I want my body to go at the same time I go.

Dearly departed DH never expressed his wishes because he refused to ever admit he was going to die. I ended up doing what I would want. A huge party of family and friends. We ate, drank, and made merry. All in all there was more laughter heard than crying although we all did some of each. He was cremated but I didn't do anything with the box until 10 years later. Then I tossed him in the lake in front of my house.

But that was the point Jen was making, when she said to make sure you have your family sign the document, too. You get a big handful of your legal next-of-kin together, and make your wishes crystal clear, before it's an issue. If you can't get together physically, you talk it out on the phone, and write letters to confirm, cc'd to the other people.

Yeah, the point I was making is that I have lots of close relations (not my immediate, thank goodness) who won't talk to each other about anything, never mind important stuff like this. My family didn't even want to talk about my signing an organ donor card, and they know I'm will/probate stuff-savvy. A recent government here in Ontario tried to force the issue of getting a measurable percentage of people to consider powers of attorney in case of medical incapacity. The people were saved from this eventuality by electing neocons who scuttled the program.

This must absolutely happen too.

I can't wait to tell Pete. "Honey, guess what?! Seanie said I could have his skull when he dies!"

I can't wait to tell Pete. "Honey, guess what?! Seanie said I could have his skull when he dies!"

What is that species of bug they use to quicky strip flesh from bone? Better keep some of those around....

What culture eats ashes? And, for what purpose?

Honestly, I don't think it's a cultural practice, just something the widow asked us to do as we were scattering ashes in the river. So the dearly departed would be part of each of us. It seemed pretty natural at the time.

If you buy a funeral plan from a Jewish funeral home (or one that serves jews), your body won't be preserved with formaldehyde or what have you, and the coffin will have a halachically mandated amount of exposure to the soil to expedite decomposition. I'm not sure how long cemeteries stay cemeteries, but I think there's a limit so that the land will eventually be useful again.

One of the things I'm just as glad to have decided for me - there are rules, I don't disagree with the rules, it's all good.

If you buy a funeral plan from a Jewish funeral home (or one that serves jews), your body won't be preserved with formaldehyde or what have you, and the coffin will have a halachically mandated amount of exposure to the soil to expedite decomposition.

I didn't know that. That's neat.

Lots and lots of ~ma, juliana! How exciting!

(eta: that's my understanding anyway, it might not be totally correct, but I'm pretty sure I got the gist)

Plastination!

We keep discussing the whole will/living will thing, and bogging down on the fact there's really no one in either family who's ideally suited to raise Annabel if both of us were gone.

FWIW, it doesn't have to be a relative if there's someone else you're close enough to that they'd make a better option. If my parents had gone, we would have gone to a couple (men, actually) who were very close friends.

Part of my parents' calculations in this was not just that they loved and trusted them to care to for us, but also that it be a) not a hardship to take us, and b)that we wouldn't be shoe-horned into an existing family with other kids. Your calculations will be your own of course, and we had less in the way of actual relations to worry about offending. But maybe your options are broader than you think they are. If I were doing something like that, I think I'd leave letters in care of the attorney to people who might be surprised or hurt by the decision, explaining how and why you made it.