Hate PMS.

Hate the month of February. It's so gray and featureless.

Hate contest entries that take three times as long as I've budgeted to judge.

Hate that DH isn't so fiercely time-oriented as I am, such that his promise to take Annabel out after lunch translates into leaving five minutes ago.

Hate that after 5+ years of marriage, I still haven't had the sense to let go my expectation that he'll be time-oriented, since for me it's the only logical thing to be.

Hate that all of the above has combined to make me feel so raw and weepy I doubt I'll do a very good job on my own writing when I finally get to attempt it after I finish the scoresheet for this contest entry.

{{{Susan}}}

Lilty, I agree with Nora. Hijinks are fun. Enjoy them.

Well, I don't have to open the store the next day. I suppose that leaves plenty of time for hijinks, if there are hijinks to be had.

Last year, I had most of the pub singing along to "What's Love Got to Do With It" with me and the jukebox. My ultimate desire was to have everyone spill outside and dance down the street like the end of an 80's video, but it didn't quite get that far.

What could this year's hijinks hold? I wonder.

Aw, Susan... Feeling the Feb. hate. Ever thought of switching to writing noir?:) Because since I started mine, life brings me pain and I think "Material! Bring it, bitch."(Because my inner voice likes the Wire too much, too.)

I'll be getting together with Kristin and the NYistas for V-day. There may be candy, but probably no hearts or flowers...

There will be sushi and billiards and friends and a lot of laughter. Best Valentine's Day EVAH!

Speaking of V-Day hijinks...when I was in high school, all of my friends and I would dump our guys on V-Day and have a "rotic" dinner (romantic without the man). It was always great fun. I kind of miss that tradition, although, I think I'd like to come up with a different name for it.

I just ate a Gardenburger™ Meatless Sweet & Sour "Pork" with Rice.

The fake pork was pretty good. Not quite sold on the point of making non-meat taste like meat, but this was tasty. Plus, it has the virtue of only being 14 grams of carbs per serving.

Actually? It was better than some traditional frozen entrees I've eaten.

This testimonial brought to you by a die-hard meat consumer.

Feeling a little better now that I'm enjoying blessed blissful solitude. But this contest entry is hell--it'd be wrong of me to disclose any details, but suffice it to say it's by far the worst of the five I've been assigned to judge, and is one of the worst things I've ever read. And yet I know there's a human being on the receiving end who loves her story as much as I love mine, so I'm trying to somehow couch this barrage of criticism in a manner that's helpful rather than soul-shredding.

Argh.

Actually? It was better than some traditional frozen entrees I've eaten.

This testimonial brought to you by a die-hard meat consumer.

My Mom and stepdad are vegan, and so I've tried a lot of meat alternatives at their house. And I gotta say, the good people at Gardenburger hit a home run with the Riblets. They are really really REALLY fucking good, and I say that as a committed meat-eater.

I start salivating just thinking about the Riblets. They're Pavlovian.