brenda, my uncle had a particular kind of arthritis called ankylosing (I think) spondylitis. He was afraid of becoming addicted to pain killers, and would usually not take the pain meds his rheumatologist prescribed for him. I remember my aunt said that his doctor told him that because his pain was so severe, it was less of a risk for him, and that it was better to stay on top of his pain.

How is your dad doing, by the way?

People in serious pain can take mega doses of things like morphine and not become addicted in the same way that recreational users would.

Heh. Unless you're me. But then, I have a lot of addiction-prone family members, so whether it's a physical tendency or a psychological tendency, I think I was pretty much predisposed to inadvertent junkie-dom.

it's part of the pain management controverises where doctors are sometimes reluctant to give patients adequate meds for their pain out of fear of additction that isn't quite accurate.

Man, my feeling, after having been through pain that no drug could eliminate, is to treat the fucking pain as well as you can, *without* putting the patient in a stupor, and if there's a problem with addiction, deal with that after the pain has been addressed/resolved.

Just one junkie's opinion. I would have rather been like Charlie hitting the smackfarthing than have to experience pain like that.

Erika has a new tag, and I need to shave.

I just met with my favorite prof. I'm now feeling like shit. When you get in a good relationship with a prof, not only do they tell you when you do well, but also when your work is crap and they know you can do better. Damn.

Someone convince me to stick out the day and not go home and cry. 'Cause that's what I feel like doing.

What did he say EXACTLY, vw? Because I'm guessing you heard something harsher than what was said (at least if you are anything like me you did). My BF always makes me repeat the horrible things I am brooding about and damn if they aren't nearly as terrible as I think they are. "You are still having trouble with accuracy on these invoices and you need to work on that." is not equal to You suck, I'm sorry I gave you this job and I am going to fire you," although that's what I hear.

I was told by an ADD cousin that it wasn't an age thing that affected the results of the medication -- it was the diagnosis. If you didn't have ADD, it was an upper. If you did, it calmed you down. Someone recently explained that to me in more detail, but I forget them.

Same cousin also explained that coke had a similar effect on her to Ritalin, so she's either expert or not to be trusted.

He said that the work I did for my incomplete was "cold"...that I had "lost my edge" in the month between classes ending and finishing my work. The thing is, I still got an A in the class, despite the B I got on the exam and the B+ I got on the paper. But, he told me that that was because he knew what kind of work I could do (I should have gotten an A-). So, now on top of knowing that I did crap work, I also feel like I got an A that I don't deserve.

He said that the work I did for my incomplete was "cold"...that I had "lost my edge" in the month between classes ending and finishing my work.

To me, this doesn't translate to "crap work," nor does it mean you didn't earn your grade. I would take it at face value -- he noticed a difference in your work during a time period that put you further away from the class you were writing for. I think that kind of time lapse is bound to make anyone "colder" towards the subject, because because you've lost the immediacy of the class itself.

That DOESN'T equal crap work.

I think that kind of time lapse is bound to make anyone "colder" towards the subject, because because you've lost the immediacy of the class itself.

What Teppy said. You were further from the class, so it would make sense you were less invested in it.

(And an A- is still an A, so I'd say you earned it.)

I do know this is partially a distortion...which is one of the reasons I came here to post about it. I've got to process it so I can move on and get to my other two classes for today. But, damn. Sometimes fighting those distortions are really, really difficult.