Robin, best wishes for your niece and her family. I know what it's like to be far away from someone with that sort of problem and it's painful to not be able to be right there with them. Just getting her into rehab is a big step towards recovery and I hope it works out for them.

And WRT the stuff I was posting about earlier, I really am getting better about the whole guilt/worry issue. I just backslid a little. Which happens, I've been given to understand. See, I'm working on the perfectionism thing, too.

I had an epiphany about a month ago WRT these issues and some others that I've been dealing with. It came, of all things, while I was reading a case study in a sort of psych/self-help book while killing time in a bookstore between appointments. In it, the therapist told a woman to stop calling herself a freak, because she was actually normal--her responses were a normal and logical product of her background.

While I'm not dealing with even a fraction of what this woman was, I think that was the single most helpful and enlightening thing I'd read in years. Which is probably just a case of it being in the right place at the right time, but still. I'd been treating my anxiety issues and all the stuff I don't talk about here as evidence that I was a freak, and loathing all those aspects of my character. But once I decided I was normal, things started to turn around. When my motives for changing were so that I could be happier, kinder to myself, and a better friend to others, I did a much better job when I was trying to change so I wouldn't be such a loathsome freak anymore.

So. I'm naturally anxious and perfectionistic, and happened to spend the first quarter century of my life in environments that only enhanced that. Which means I'm normal. But getting better, because there's no reason a normal person can't grow and learn to be happier and better balanced.

Robin, I'm glad she's getting the help she needs.

Robin, I'm glad she's getting help.

I'm not a parent, Susan, but I think that the SAHM who spends all her time focused on her children is largely a myth. My mother was a classic, '50s, June Cleaver mother. She also made all of our clothes, made curtains, upholstered furniture and cooked every meal without the aid of mixes or takeout. My sister was born with cerebral palsy and epilepsy when I was 2 1/2. My father didn't do anything at home except yardwork. Exactly how much one-on-one interaction do you think I got? My mother read to me and played with me, but I also spent many hours in a playpen and many hours reading by myself. I was very late to walk and very early to read.

Robin, all the best to you, your family, and especially your niece. She's got good people looking after her.

Susan, not a parent either, but Annabel is going to be fine. Really. She's growing up in an environment where she's safe and loved, and that's the most important thing.

I could be wrong, but I don't think her attempts to ransack the bookshelves or reach things that the day before I'd have sworn were out of her range are meant to get my attention, because she acts so angry when I come to take her away. I think she's just trying to explore her world and investigate her new physical skills.

Then I think you should trust the fact that there are exactly two Annabel experts in the world, and you are one of them. You know what she needs.

She's a very self-contained child. I'm not sure she'll be an introvert, because she's friendly and flirty, but she's very mellow and independent.

So quit worrying already. Really, everything you've ever said about Annabel makes her sound like a bright, fun, curious, able child.

Hey Robin, are you going to be around the weekend of March 12th? I'd love to see you when we come down for the Pasadena reading.

Planning to be there, Hec! What time is it?

Oh, David! How late do you expect the reading to go. As early as it starts, I should be able to attend, but I have a 6:30 call that night in Hollywood, so I likely can't stay for the whole thing.

The reading is at 7pm on that Saturday (I think). But I was hoping JZ and I could hook up with you and your oh-so-cool BF. We should take this to email. Shoot me something at hecubot@gmail.com.