Anyone can hurt someone with the best of intentions. In your case Susan, I'm pretty sure it was how she took it not what she did - probably looking for an excuse to resign (thats what the "last straw" thing means to me.

I'm pretty sure I hurt VW in our religion discussion a few days ago - and not because she took something wrong but because I had a prejudice I was completely unaware of.

Basically in the course of explaining my position on something I started by saying that it came from an emotional basis. But then I used what I thought was colorful way of saying that I tried to have a rational support even for beliefs that are not provable or do not have an emotional basis. But the phrase I used was not "colorful" . It was highly offensive, and I think I would never have been used if not based on a prejudice I was completely unaware I had.

Like most prejudices it came in part from ignorance and in part from fear. Although I'm intellectually aware of the issue I really wasn't until a few years ago - honestly believed the postion I held to be an enlightened one. So apparently the knowledge hasn't penetrated all the way down yet. The fear is that mental illness runs in my family; I'm at major genetic risk for a number of problems; so the particular phrase I used was not just sloppiness; it reflected a real personal terror that had congealed something nasty without my knowing it.

And when VW made an oblique reference to something hurting her and sending her into a blind rage it did not occur to me that it could he anything I said, until for some reason the clue fairy hit me this morning. I'll work on the prejudice, and in the meantime make sure I don't inflict it on anyone else again. So I'm sorry my personal weakness caused you pain VW. Hope that knowing where it came from lessens the hurt a bit.

{{Susan}} I've done things like that quite a few times, I think. You never know how other people will react.

I just offended someone today - because I described my neighborhood as NOT being a 'clean suburban area' . which it isn't - there are no big line between single family homes, multi family home, comercial zones, etc. I think they though I meant dirty. Which seems strange because I said I chose to live here...

Why is it that the day you think "hey, my boobs look especially large and noticeable in this outfit" is always the same day that you spill your lunch on your shirt?

You're a subconscious exhibitionist?

always the same day that you spill your lunch on your shirt

Boobs are like mustaches, all they are is flavor savers.

the same day that you spill your lunch on your shirt

That's pretty much every day for me.

Typo Boy, I really appreciate the sentiment in what you just posted. I don't think it was me that you hurt, though. I don't remember making a comment about that (but I could have...my memory, she's not so good). But, I certainly don't remember you having said anything that hurt or offended me enough to make a comment like that. And I'm pretty sure I would remember that part. So, thank you, but we're all good.

In your case Susan, I'm pretty sure it was how she took it not what she did - probably looking for an excuse to resign (thats what the "last straw" thing means to me.

Probably true. It's still frustrating to start your day by doing what you feel is a small good deed for an organization you're part of, only to have an unintended consequence create a problem for that same group.

wrod. btdt.