Connie, I'd write and send a conciliatory letter implying that bygones are gone, this is where I am now, and wishing you comfort and peace. But for me, then I would write the letter I'd want to send her, and get it all out, everything I'd wanted to accuse her of, tell her what her actions had done to me, and how long it took me to find my own way past that damage. I'd either keep it, just to know that I was finally able to get it all out, to read or even add to when I was feeling particularly haunted. Or I'd ceremoniously burn it, and deliberately let go all the negative stuff I'd been holding onto because of it.

I hope you do whichever (or whatever else) will give you the most closure and the most peace.

Oh, poor Emmett! And poor Hec and JZ, too, worrying about the boy. Here's hoping it's something either virus or growth related that's normal and easily treated and the pain alleviated.

Anne, you have done such tremendous work over the past little while. Here's to a good inspection, and a little period of giddy relief and rest before moving on to the next phase.

Emeline photos are so.cute. What a handsome family!

t pokes head into the thread to say "Hi!"

{{Connie}} & {Emmett}} ~ma to others who need a little extra.

I am only here for the moment, but felt the need to do more than lurk. This project will be done in a few weeks, I will no longer be its bitch, and I will be able to actually keep up with what's happening here. Yipee!

Well, Emmett is sort of tottering around now. He can't extend his legs fully, so he looks like Tim Conway doing an old man. But he's able to stand up.

Hmmm. Okay, now he's walking okay, but it still hurts. What the fuck? I hate this. Now I've commited to a doctor's appointment, and called into work and he's looking fine. Stupid human bodies.

Well, poop. Board ate my post.

{{connie}} beth is a wise woman:

connie, it sounds like our head is in the right place. You wish her peace. funerals are for those left alive. You know you and your blood family well enough, chose our own way to let go. - Which is what you said, but it makes so much sense.

You do sound like your head is in the right place with this. And, I completely agree with beth, funerals are for the living. This particular one doesn't sound like something you need. The letter, however, is a gracious and kind thing and absolutely something to be done for yourself as much as your mother.

{{{Emmett}}}

{{{connie}}}

In mememe news, I've just joined a new online community especially for Regency writers. And I've discovered that it's where a good many of the authors I actually read hang out. While I know plenty of Actual Published Authors now--here, in my RWA chapter, in the other RWA boards I hang out on--this is the first place I've stumbled across many of the authors I've been reading since high school. As a result, I'm feeling shy. And I never feel shy on the internet.

{{{Emmett}}}

{{{Connie}}}

Susan! That's really excellent! I'm sure that you will lose your shyness in no time.

Written and in the company out box. Two pages in 14-point type for easier reading of old eyes. I made no mention of past troubles, only said that I heard through Amy's mom that Mother was hoping for a letter and that now that I had her current address I could write. And I said I hoped she'd be able to get out and about in the spring. Nothing--I hope--to insinuate that I had any idea that she might not be able to.

Told her a few things about my current life, mentioned Hubby's health problems. I've noticed that elderly people like talking about other people's ailments. Put in a compliment about how well she kept up with things when she was living in the country by herself, then said I hoped she was being well taken care of.

The response--if any--will tell me if she wants to do any clearing of the air. I'm actually quite content with a "Ignore the dead, stinking elephant corpse in the corner" approach. Especially as any stinks are not likely to be a problem much longer.

Oh, and I slipped in a paragraph about how I wished I had more time to keep up with the genealogy work. I seem to be the only one who cares enough to look into these things, as my next older sister--the only one actually in the same area as Mother--actually said, "Why bother?" Yes, this is a subtle reminder that if Mother still has dispensation of family records that I'm here as a ready recipient. I don't care about the land. But I want the records. I can't just pop up after a decade, though, and say, "Hand 'em over."

If not, if this is my last communication with that side of the family, I am content. There were no lies, no prevarications, just a bit of not bringing up things that might only bring drama. I can live with that.

Hmmm. Okay, now he's walking okay, but it still hurts. What the fuck? I hate this. Now I've commited to a doctor's appointment, and called into work and he's looking fine. Stupid human bodies.

Nah, babe. Utter a little thanks, because that was some kinda scary. Take him to the doctor, anyhow. It was freaky enough, he could still stand a visit. I am *so* relieved he is improving.

Dear Emmett,

Get all better, and stop scaring Daddy.

Love,
All Your Cyber Aunties and Uncles

Connie, that sounds perfect for the situation.

That sounds like a good letter, connie. I hope it's what your mother is looking for.