Just reading Anne's painting posts makes me want to lie down.

Personally, I think I'm getting high from the fumes. I may need to go buy a mask of some kind.

Watches the productive people be productive while defiantly painting fingernails purple.

I just woke up for the third time. I think this one may stick, but I need coffee, stat.

Where's my vw?

Go vw! Go Anne! You're making me tired just reading about you. Vicarious accomplishment, though, it's a good thing.

Yay, Lilty relaxing. This is, like, a first ever, right? Purple toenails are a yay, too, when they're only painted on. I've had purple toenails from smacking my toe on something--painful, and not so pretty.

Laura! Geez, I never get to post at the same time as you. Ginger, I'd watch, but I don't even know what time Oprah is on. I'll try to catch this one, though.

Okay, DH is sorting through the Sunday circulars from Best Buy, Circuit City and elsewhere. Is it really mean of me to want to upgrade my own laptop and give the one we have now to the kid who needs a computer, instead of buying said kid (who is too broke to afford the computer he wants) a brand-new desktop system? Same money... my generosity is fighting with my aquisitive tendencies, and using "It's a free computer! He's got no cause to quibble!" as an excuse.

More coffee needed. At once.

Is it really mean of me to want to upgrade my own laptop and give the one we have now to the kid who needs a computer, instead of buying said kid (who is too broke to afford the computer he wants) a brand-new desktop system?

It is not mean. It's wise. Everyone's happy that way, and Beverly, who deserves goodness and doesn't get enough of it, gets a teeny bit of balance back.

Hi, Deena! {{Deena}}

Deena! You enabler, I love you!

Er, not just for backing me up, though that is a component. How are the babies today? How are you?

And, I'm not ashamed to admit, I am afraid of being dead. I can't imagine not being, that is possibly the scariest thing I can think of. It doesn't matter that my higher brain is telling me, "you won't know you're dead, stupid," there's still a fear that somehow I will be dead and KNOW it. I don't want to know it.

I think I've finally gotten used to the idea of "being" dead - that is, that I won't ever experience anything ever again. But yeah, the brain likes to get all paradoxical about the "I don't wanna be dead" thing, ignoring the fact that you won't be experiencing it. I think it's becaue we so rarely (or never) contemplate the idea of non-existance, as all we've known is existence. Also, I think language makes it harder, not easier. You could say, "I don't want to be dead," but the word "be" inplies that you do exist, in some state. It might be more accurate to say, "I don't want to not-be."

Anyway, here's a classic bit of Stoppard on the subject:

ROS: It could go on for ever. Well, not for ever, I suppose.
    (Pause) Do you ever think of yourself as actually dead,
    lying in a box with a lid on it?
GUlL: No.
ROS: Nor do I, really... It's silly to be depressed by it. I mean one
    thinks of it like being alive in a box, one keeps forgetting to
    take into account the fact that one is dead... which should
    make a difference... shouldn't it? I mean, you'd never know
    you were in a box, would you? It would be just like being
    asleep in a box. Not that I'd like to sleep in a box, mind you,
    not without any air - you'd wake up dead, for a start and then
    where would you be? Apart from inside a box. That's the bit I
    don't like, frankly. That's why I don't think of it.
    (GUlL stirs restlessly, pulling his cloak round him.)
    Because you'd be helpless, wouldn't you? Stuffed in a box
    like that, I mean you'd be in there for ever. Even taking
    into account the fact that you're dead, really... ask
    yourself, if! asked you straight off - I'm going to stuff you
    in this box now, would you rather be alive or dead?
    Naturally, you'd prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better
    than no life at all. I expect. You'd have a chance at least.
    You could he there thinking - well, at least I'm not dead!
    In a minute someone's going to bang on the lid and tell me
    to come out. (Banging on the floor with his fists.) 'Hey you,
    whatsyernaine! Come out of there!'
GUlL: (Jumps up savagely) You don't have to flog it to death!
    (Pause.)
ROS: I wouldn't think about it, if! were you. You'd only get
    depressed. (Pause.) Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean,
    where's it going to end?

Thanks, P-C!

Beverly, I love you too! (And not just because Greg is encouraging me to get a new computer with the income tax refund, kindly and manfully refusing any of the money for himself, thus letting me shop for something that ZINGS! baby, thus allowing me to encourage you to be "selfish" so I feel better about myself.)

The babies are being a bit pillish today, and I have to get some work done in a little bit for start-of-business Monday. If my sinuses would drain and stay that way I'd be peachy. As it is, I'm fine.

You could say, "I don't want to be dead," but the word "be" inplies that you do exist, in some state. It might be more accurate to say, "I don't want to not-be."

More accurate, but just as dead.