Everyone who's awake, anyhow. Sleepy people GET NO PRETTY.

Wah.

OK, I know I'm obsessed with my own friend-of-a-friend celebrity stories, but I just can't hold it in anymore: I know someone who had sex with Donovan McNabb!! (His mom is on Ellen right now, which is what makes me think of it.) (He is the quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles.) (The Eagles are a football team, and the Super Bowl is Sunday.) (The Super Bowl is the national championship of football.) (American football.) (FYI.)

In other Ellen DeGeneres show news, she now has Peter Gallagher on, and the clip they showed is from next week's episode. WTF? I feel spoiled now.

Gah. I had a dream last night where I tried at great length to convince someone that really, I swear to god, I look better now than I did at baby-faced 19. They didn't believe me, and told me I'd never look that good again, not even if I lost weight, which oh by the way, they didn't think I could do, anyway.

THAT was annoying. I checked in the mirror this morning, and I look good, damn it. So mystery dream person, kiss my large yet attractive ass.

I know someone who had an affair with Robert Parrish (The former Boston Celtics center). I worked with her. I used to take a lot of his calls for her.

Just trying to keep up with the Joneses Jesse

Ack, Steph. Stupid subconscious, telling you weirdo lies. It's probably really about getting your work done or something.

I know someone who had an affair with Robert Parrish (The former Boston Celtics center). I worked with her. I used to take a lot of his calls for her.

Ooh, that's a good one!

Ack, Steph. Stupid subconscious, telling you weirdo lies. It's probably really about getting your work done or something.

My subconscious is wrong, and it knows it. We had a stern talk on the way in to work, and if it doesn't start to behave, I'm going to put some really boring shit in there, like tax codes. I think that scared it enough to behave.

I saw Tom Brady in an airport once. I know somebody who knows somebody who went home with Nomar, back before he was married.

Yeah, actually, I lead a very unremarkable life.

Huh. OK. It doesn't look just, like, silver? I don't love the look of silver.

Belatedly, because I crashed, but nope! Silver's much whiter. Platinum has a grey cast to it.

While we didn't get my rings there, the place where I got Paul's ring is the place I trusted to put the little balls on the inside of my rings so that I could have them sized down without having them cut. (They are located in a mall, but they're not a mall jeweler.)

Hi Plei!

That's all- I just felt like I needed to say hello.

(They are located in a mall, but they're not a mall jeweler.)

Yeah, shoulda been clearer -- by "mall jeweler" I mean the big chains, not the physical location per se. The two I trust are in strip malls, but then, in NC, everything is in a strip mall.