Time for some thrilling heroics.

Jayne ,'The Train Job'


Buffista Fic 2: They Said It Couldn't Be Done.

[NAFDA] Where the Buffistas let their fanfic creative juices flow. May contain erotica.


chrismg - Aug 01, 2014 6:58:18 pm PDT #977 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...)

Snow sighed. "So we can't send him with you instead, yes." Emma nodded and counted off a second finger.



"We need someone with magic, since we don't know what we're going to find in Arendelle. I've got magic, but I'm still pretty new to using it. The fairies don't want to risk returning, and maybe losing their human forms if they cast a spell, and everyone else with magic is unreliable at best." A third finger.



"It needs to be someone who can project some kind of authority. You and Abigail are out, since she's pretty sure the Council will fall apart without both of you here. David doesn't think he has the reputation we need, and George is, well....."



Snow snorted. "Not the sort who works well with others." She sighed, then looked at Emma thoughtfully. "You've really thought this through, haven't you?"



"Er...." A familiar feeling of being caught out settled into her stomach. "Actually, I had this exact conversation with Regina a couple days ago, except I was...." She pointed to where Snow was sitting.



"Oh."



"We had that shouting match last week - about Robin, of course - so when Henry said she wanted to come along, I thought...I don't know." Emma shrugged. "That she was up to something anyway. But she really sold it."



"Oh". Snow contemplated that for an excruciatingly long moment, then shrugged. "Well, in any case, " she lifted the pack off the floor and offered it to Emma, "I got a few things ready for you."




chrismg - Aug 01, 2014 6:58:18 pm PDT #978 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) "Uh....Thanks." Emma winced. Being taken care of was still something that threw her, no matter who it came from. She grabbed the pack awkwardly and poked through it. "So this is...."



"Just some things I found useful when I was...on my own in the Enchanted Forest. Extra canteens, rope,..."



"And a grappling hook?" Emma studied it dubiously.



"I found it very useful, " Snow said primly. "You never know when you're going to need to make an unexpected entrance."



"I guess." Emma shrugged and buckled the pack closed. "Hopefully, all we need to do is head up to Arendelle and convince this sister Rumpel mentioned to come get Elsa off our backs-" She broke off at Snow's look. "I know, right? When has anything gone that easy for us?"



"Even if you get there OK, there's no guarantee she'll just agree to come with you. If she's been ruling there for the past thirty years or more...."



"Well, hopefully Regina has some-" the noise of the door opening and voices in the main room cut her off. "And, speak of the devil and she shows up with the guys."



David was just shutting the front door as they came out, and he smiled at Emma before walking over to Snow like he'd been away weeks. "Hey."



"Hey."




chrismg - Aug 01, 2014 6:58:19 pm PDT #979 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) Emma rolled her eyes at them before reaching out to ruffle Henry's hair, "Hey,"(he snorted and gave her a one-armed hug) and look at Regina. "How'd it go?"



Regina sighed, and spared a moment to scowl at Snow, David, and the slush tracked across the floor. "Assuming this information is accurate, I should be able to modify the portal the way we need. I suggest we get started right away, we should have enough time before sundown. Henry?"



"Oh yeah. Check it out!" Emma blinked as she realized he was brandishing a sheathed sword in his other hand. "Rumpel said to give it to you to help out."



Emma eyed it dubiously. "'Give'?"



"Henry?" Regina's voice had the you're-being-a-slow-pupil tone Emma had come to hate over the past year. "When dealing with Rumpelstiltskin-"



"I know, I know." He held up his hands defensively. "You have to pay attention to his exact words. Which were," he turned to Emma and recited carefully, "I'm lending this to her so she can protect my investment." He paused and added, "And then Belle rolled her eyes at him for putting it that way."



"Huh." Emma studied the sword as Henry handed it over. It seemed to be a straight, one-handed blade with a hand-guard on the hilt. The sheath was plain black leather, with a short set of runes on one side. She felt a faint tingle in her fingers. "Is it....."



Henry frowned. "He said it was called...Tsau...um....," he gave Regina a pleading look.


chrismg - Aug 01, 2014 6:58:19 pm PDT #980 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...)

"Zauberflotte. It means "Flute of Magic."



"A flute?" Emma drew the sword a foot or so and peered at it. "It looks like it's just-"



An exaggerated sigh interrupted her. "It's a metaphor, Miss Swan. The blade is enchanted so the wielder can cast spells like it's a wand."



"Hah!" She sheathed the sword and looked at Regina. "So once we're through the portal..."



"You can use that to cast the return spell, yes. Now are you ready to go, Miss Swan? Miss Swan!"



  • ****



Emma blinked and stared at Regina, who was staring at her from much too short a distance. "Uh, what?"



"I said, the portal is ready. If you've quite done daydreaming...."



"I wasn't - never mind." She strode over to the portal and peered at it dubiously. "So, no more time travel?"



"It seems to be reacting to the extra runes the way we expected, so," Regina nodded as she came up next to Emma. "We'll arrive on the other side within a few minutes of the time we enter the portal here. The time-warp effect has been modified to cause a sort of 'time differential'. Spending a day over there should (continued...)


chrismg - Aug 01, 2014 6:58:19 pm PDT #981 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) only cause an hour or so to pass here."



"So we can spend as much time as we need to, and not worry about folks here freezing to death." Emma thought for a moment about what effect a stable portal back to the Enchanted Forest might have on the town, then shrugged and hefted her pack. "You ready?"



Regina gave her a dry look as she raised her hands. "I wasn't the one complaining about the cold, but yes. Shall we be off?" Dark tendrils of magic began curling through the portal design. The air took on the familiar tension of a gate about to open.



Emma nodded and braced herself. "Go for it. And hang onto your hat, if it's anything like last-"



A hole in the air opened with a CRACK and sucked them both through before she could finish.



TBC


WindSparrow - Aug 01, 2014 7:19:33 pm PDT #982 of 1103
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

Intriguing, chris. Looking forward to more.


chrismg - Aug 01, 2014 7:37:48 pm PDT #983 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

Thanks!


chrismg - Aug 21, 2014 6:44:40 pm PDT #984 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

More OUaT:

It's Already Here Chapter 2

Emma found herself tumbling through the air, then slamming painfully to the ground and tumbling over that until she fetched up against a tree. She lay there for a moment, stunned, as the noise of the portal vanished like a wind-tunnel slamming shut. As the ringing in her head began to clear, she craned her neck to check the surroundings. She was laying in the midst of a greenwood, with dense undergrowth and leaves blotting out the sky. There was no sign of anyone else. In fact - "Regina?"

"I'm here." Apparently the other woman had been blown past the tree Emma had crashed into. She pulled herself up and walked around, to see Regina already on her feet and scowling at the dirt and leaves sticking to her pantsuit. A flicker of dark mist washed over her clothes, leaving them spotless again. Regina winced briefly, and Emma felt something twinge inside her at the flux of magic.

"Go easy with that, will you? I know it's not as bad here, but-"

"I am quite capable of managing my use of magic, Miss Swan." Regina took a deep breath and looked around. "Did we come through where you were thinking of?"

Emma looked around carefully. "Well.....the trees don't look right, there's none of the big old ones I remember....."

"No, those would all have been destroyed by the first curse." Regina looked regretful for a moment, then went on, "This is thirty years' new growth, perhaps with some magical help from when the fairies were back last year."

"Huh. Well, I think I recognize the shape of the land and-" Emm sniffed the air," The smell of the sea. If we just head down to the shore...."

"We should see the port town from there." Regina nodded. "I suggest we make sure we have a route back first, however."

"Do you have a plan for if it doesn't work?" Emma asked dryly, but she drew Zauberflotte with one hand and grabbed a thick branch with the other. "Better hang on."

Regina scowled, but wrapped her hands around a different tree and nodded. "Go ahead."

Emma pointed the sword at an open space next to one of the bigger trees and took a deep breath. Normally, whatever magic was inside her lay quiet, almost unnoticeable, but as she lifted the sword to full extension, she could feel a prickly heat flowing down her arm, like water entering a newly added pipe. She took another breath, and tried to call up the pattern of thought and energy that had brought her and Hook home months ago-

Power suged down the sword and leaped into the open air; Emma saw a gleaming pattern hang there a moment, then split into the roaring vortex. The sudden rush of air nearly dragged her off her feet, and over the noise she could faintly hear Regina shouting something. Clinging to the branch as hard as she could, she pictured the pattern flying apart into nothing-

And the portal burst like a balloon, sending a blast of force through the trees and sending Emma tumbling over the ground a second time. She fetched up against a tree, and hazily wondered if it was the same one as before. For a minute she could only stare up through the leaves, listening to the wind die down as the forest quieted again.

"What­ did you think you were doing?" Regina's face appeared against the trees, glaring and dirt-smudged again.

"Um. What?" The ringing in her ears seemed to be fading .

"Didn't anyone ever teach you how-" Regina broke off with an exasperated huff. "No, of course not. The only formal training you've had was under me, and that was the least formal thing imaginable."

Emma groaned as she sat up, noticing that at least she'd managed to hang onto the sword. "What are you complaining about now?"

Regina took a breath. "You cannot simply blast apart a complex spell like that. If you don't withdraw the energy carefully, it, well...."

"Blasts apart. I get it." Emma sighed as she staggered to her feet. She wobbled on her feet for a moment, and studied Regina's scowl. "I'm guessing this is going to mean more lessons?"

"In the (continued...)


chrismg - Aug 21, 2014 6:44:41 pm PDT #985 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) interest of not being thrown around like dice in a cup." Regina paused. "It's not like there'll be much else to do on board ship."

"Great." Emma sighed as she sheathed the sword again. "Speaking of which, let's see if-" She broke off. "Hey, do you hear-?"

"Yes." Another flicker of dark magic, and Regina looked composed and clean again. Emma cocked her head, trying to pinpoint the noise. Sounds like one guy, walking cautiously , she thought. The footsteps came closer and closer, until a man rounded a thicket and came to a stop at the sight of them.

Emma eyed him carefully. He was somewhere in late middle-age, wearing a rough tunic and trousers she thought were peasant-wear. He had a badge of some kind on one shoulder, and carried a staff, and his body-language somehow made her think of a small-town cop caught off guard.

Look who's talking, Sheriff. Emma snorted slightly as Regina stepped forward and gave him a wintery smile.

"Hello, Serjant. Isn't it a lovely day?" The man blinked at her, starting to say something that got lost as she rolled on. "My friend and I are looking to hire passage over the sea, do you know someplace nearby we should visit?"

The man stared a moment, glancing back and forth between them. He started to speak again, then paused and visibly decided it wasn't worth the trouble questioning them. "The Mended Anchor, back in town." He pointed behind him. "Lots of sailors get a drink or a room. If there's anyone who's going where you want to go, you can find'em or word of them there. Just follow the smell of the wharves, you can't miss it."

"Thank you so much." And Regina strode past him like she was marching into a conquered castle. He eyed her as she passed, then glanced at Emma, who gave him a cheery smile and a "Thanks!" as she strolled after Regina.

They walked in silence for a minute, Regina striding with her chin lifted, Emma walking easily behind her, listening to see if the...Serjant?...was following them, and determinedly not looking back. She glanced at Regina and murmured, "So it just occurs to me, you didn't mention anything before we left about getting clothes that are more, ah, Enchanted-Forest-y?"

"Blending in isn't going to be a priority." She looked thoughtful. "In fact, it may be easier to gain access to the Queen if we seem somewhat exotic."

"Huh." Emma glanced down at her jeans and jacket, then behind them briefly. "Well, that guy's face sure said we look exotic. He was...?"

"Village militia. Probably sent to investigate the noise, and hoping it wasn't trolls or worse."

"And finding us, instead. Poor guy."

A few minutes walk took them out of the forest and within sight of the sea. The town sat on its edge, a scattering of ramshackle buildings, with the masts of a few ships visible over the rooftops. The central road went from bare dirt to cobbles as it passed a guard's hut, and the militiaman sitting outside it peered at the two of them as they passed. Emma gave him a smile too, and strolled after Regina.

"So what are the chances we find a ride straight off?"

"Hard to say." Regina pursed her lips as the road began sloping down towards the docks. "Arendelle was never a major trading partner for the Forest, and without royal authority and money to push for new routes...."

"It's a crapshoot." Emma sighed. Regina paused and peered upwards.

"Does that look like an anchor to you?" Emma followed her gaze and squinted.

"Uh...maybe?" It was hard to tell what the sign was supposed to show, between the artist's dubious skill and the cheap paint that was already peeling. "With...bandages around it, I guess? Anyway," She took a deep sniff. "Smells like sailor's rum, and lots of it."

"Good enough." Regina pushed through the swinging door beside them, with Emma close behind. It was definitely a tavern, with a few men scattered drinking at tables. Regina ignored them, and swept over to the bar. The man behind it was eyeing them cautiously. He was broad-shouldered, but with a noticeable (continued...)


chrismg - Aug 21, 2014 6:44:42 pm PDT #986 of 1103
"...and then Legolas and the Hulk destroy the entire Greek army." - Penny Arcade

( continues...) gut and a gone-to-seed air. Regina gave him another brilliant smile.

"We're looking to buy passage over the sea, and hoping you know someone who can help us find the ship we need, Mister...?"

The barkeep gave her a sidelong look, then abruptly started wiping down the counter between them. "Two-Thumbs," he said briefly. "I might know somethin'."

Emma heard a clink as Regina dropped something on the bar, and caught a flash of silver before Two-Thumbs wiped it off and tucked it, rag and all, into his apron. "Where you heading?"

"Arendelle. As quickly as possible."

The man scowled. "Mmm. Not many ships go that far..." He squinted past them for a moment then barked, "Trawl!"

"Uh?" A bleary-looking fellow across the room looked up from his cup, startled. "Wat'ye want, Two?"

"Who's in town that knows the north seas?"

" North seas? ....uh." Trawl scratched his head and stared suspiciously at the ceiling. "Cooper's off in the Southern Isles again....Curry just left a few days ago..." The scowl got deeper, like he suspeected the ceiling of plotting something. "Applecraft....no he's dead, isn't he?" Emma glanced dubiously at Regina, who was watching this performance with a condescending smile. "Oh, yeah!" Trawl sat up and almost smiled. "When I passed the docks, the Summer Wind was just tying up."

"Cap'n Klaus, eh? He'll do." Two-Thumbs nodded at the door. "Go tell him someone's lookin' for passage north."

Trawl turned his scowl on the barkeep. "What's in it for me?"

"Next drink's on the house."

"Four drinks."

"Two."

"Three."

"Two."

"Three."

Two-Thumbs shrugged and looked at one of the other drinkers. "Hey, Haddock!"

Trawl bolted to his feet and almost ran towards the door. "Fine! Two it is!" He paused and jabbed a finger at the barkeep, "And no half-cups!" and off he dashed.

Emma eyed Two-Thumbs dubiously. "So how reliable is this Captain Klaus?"

He shrugged again. "He keeps his tab paid and his crew have something like discipline. It's good enough for me."

Emma sighed and leaned against the bar, as Two-Thumbs went back to cleaning cups. Regina had sat on one of the less-filthy chairs and was sitting watching the door patiently. After a few minutes, Emma decided it was actually kind of creepy and leaned over.

"So what's with the statue act?"

Regina gave her a brief, cool glance. "Letting them see you worry is showing a weakness. We don't have a lot of options, even if we have time to spare."

Emma blinked and eyed her carefully. "Is that why I'm hearing your mother come out of your mouth?"

Regina stiffened and gave her a sharp glare. She spat, "I-" and then just as suddenly cut herself off. She settled back into her seat, staring at the door again, and said carefully, "It's been very easy to call up the mannerisms of the Evil Queen."

Emma sighed again and sank into another chair. "It's not like I don't have habits I fall into when I'm off balance," she offered. "Ones I wouldn't like Henry to see, even."

There was a pause. "Are you trying to have a moment, Miss Swan?" Regina gave her a cool look.

"Uh-"

"Because it looks like the chance has passed." Emma looked up as the tavern door opened again. Trawl scrambled through and headed straight for the bar; he was followed by an older, bearded man.

"See! There he is, yeah?" Trawl grabbed the drink Two-Thumbs had poured in advance and headed back to his bench triumphantly. Regina ignored him, and gave the new arrival another cool smile.

"Captain Klaus, I presume?" He nodded. "We're looking to buy passage to Arendelle, and we'd like to get there as soon as possible."

Emma put in, "We've got people back home depending on us making good time." Regina gave her a quelling glance.

"Hmm." He gave them both a considering look. Emma studied him in return. His beard and hair were neatly trimmed, and his clothes looked well-tailored. Not a captain who's struggling for money, I think.

After a moment, he went on, "We're (continued...)