( continues...) brains of the outfit.”
“...”
“...oh! Hey, you're still cooking me dinner, right?”
“I don't know, Hardison. I'm feeling all unappreciated right now. I think I might need a little motivation.”
“See, this is what I'm talking about. Nag, nag, nag. You better be a damn good cook, mister.”
“Anybody ever tell you you talk too much?”
“Well, there was this one guy, this tiny, surly little ninja warrior type, and he...mmmmph!”
“...”
“...”
“...”
“...definitely Gryffindor.”
“...”
“...”
“Dude, I'll cook you breakfast, lunch and dinner if you just keep – right – on – doing – that!”
“Now that's what I call a happy face!”
FINIS
Eeeeeeeeee!
Oh my, and *this* is *my* happy face! Perfect Hardison and Eliot. Per.fect.
Eeexcept, one teeeeeny tiny little thing. One of those little bitty things that just make me 'splodey. There is no 'tate' in oriented! I know! It's like this big secret that hardly anybody knows. Apparently not even Hardison!
Other than that, Perfect!
Glad you liked it!
Orientated. Hmm. I could make an argument for it as a back-formation that dates back to the mid 19th century, but on the whole if it were in a narrative bit I'd probably rather go with 'Oriented', you're quite right. Because I can totally understand the flinch reflex.
BUT - which do you think Hardison would say?
t sincere. has no clue which way he'd jump
Yay, Fay got my joke. Namely that "Shermer High School" does not exist; it was John Hughes' fake high school name.(Also, they were there about the same time as The Breakfast Club and talking about Andrew taping that guy's butt together.
Aw, Fay! That's just adorable! Hee.
The characters Aldis usually plays would say orientated-most folks age 30 and under do. Hardison would probably say oriented, because he's geeky enough to be precise in his word choice, or at least that's my impression. I could easily be wrong.
I am 30, and 100% of the time I would say "goal-oriented." Because that's invariably how I hear the phrase used, but also I think orientated is a silly word.
The Brits say "orientated" all the time, don't they?
My vote (if it counts) is to leave as is. Because if even highly-edumucated folks, such as ourselves, can get into such a tizzy over it, then I think Hardison is smart enough to make up his own mind. And has probably had arguments over the exact same thing with Nate, who is obviously of an older generation.
Feeling a bit like I sent some dailies to Van Sant, here, but hey, that worked out, right?
But what I'm asking is: is this funny, or just gross? Because Ari walks such a fine line.Walks it, hell, he has a beachfront condo there.
ARI is zipping along in his Ferrari, maybe talking on the phone or wrestling with script pages.He hits a COLLEGE GIRL’s back bumper, as she is riding in her beat-up car with her DATE.
ARI
Son of a bitch!
He starts drumming his hands on the steering wheel impatiently.
COLLEGE GIRL
Nice driving, jerkoff!!She gets out of her car to inspect her dinged bumper, but carefully, as she is wearing a tight dress.
ARI
How do you figure this is my fault?
GIRL
You rear-ended me! That makes it your fault. Everybody knows that.
ARI gets out of the Ferrari, which the DATE, Troy, is looking at reverently.
(Indicating DATE)
So fucking what…it’s not like it’s even the first time.
DATE
Now, dude, don’t go getting all personal. We haven’t even slept together yet.
GIRL
Yet? What kind of thing is that to say?
DATE
Come on, Kara. Look at what you’re wearing…you didn’t invite me to look at your stamp collection.(to ARI) Am I right?
ARI
Yeah, I gotta say that Ugly Tobey Maguire has got a point, Care. Absofuckinglutely.
DATE
Yeah, see, he thinks…(ARI’s burn sinks in) No, wait—what?
ARI(under breath)
While we’re young, Mark Fuhrman..(AS COP in squad car pulls up)
COP
What’s happened here?
ARI
How are you doing tonight?...do you know what a technical advisor is? Cause I could make that happen for you with one phone call.
COP
Sir, this is L.A. And I was not born yesterday…of course I know what a technical advisor is. But, for right now, let’s focus on the incident in front of us, okay?
ARI(still pitching)
Jimmy Woods is gonna fuckin’ love the way you slice through the bullshit, man. I’m serious.
COP
James Woods? Onion Field James Woods? Of course, he played a real shitbird in that one…
ARI
Purest movie magic, my friend. And he’s played a cop a bunch of times as well.
KARA
Don’t listen to a word he said…that old guy wrecked my car.
Hearing “old guy” applied to himself is like ARI got a cold shower with his clothes on.
