( continues...) relieved, the agent slipped away.

"Speaking of hot...that dress."

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't in the room this morning," he told her. "E. told me you stopped by."

"He wasn't supposed to." Lisa said, sitting in Ari's vacated chair. "I'm kind of embarrassed."

And, before she got the chance to forgive and forget, she remembered how awful she felt that morning, trying to search Eric's face to see if "He's not here," was the truth, and feeling old and desperate.

"Billy had us all up and out at sunrise," Vince explained. "said it was the only time the light was right. Billy is an artist, and..."

"Sounds hypomanic as hell right now." Lisa said. "Step carefully and expect a big crash. Not that I'm a psychiatrist.."

"Well, I'm only going to be in Queens for about another week...do you think he'll hold off?"

Lisa now understood why her friends and classmates, most of whom had not shared her passion for science or her orderly ways, had hated the first day of school so much. Because, plain as day, the voice in her head said "No! Don't wanna!"

OMG.

Their hypothetical kid! And his/her hypothetical upbringing!

dies

...you're not going to break my heart with this story, are you?

Are you?

worries

No...but the fact that you think I might gives me an evil thrill up my leg. And I'm glad you liked the baby thing, because between you, me, and the lampost, there is a fucking horrifying Buffy/ Entourage story(Ari was right. A good premise can sell crap.) floating around somewhere where Cordy and Vince get knocked up, and have this tooth-grittingly "adorable" spawn named Juliet Chase-Chase and it's all like "Three Men and A Little Lady" in Casa Vince, and well, it just annoyed me muchly. And it's not an annoyance that my mom would understand, or Keith Olbermann, or really anyone else but another fic geek. I have not been so annoyed by a kid since Renesmee showed up. Because I love all those guys...you know how much(including Vince, who sometimes gets accused of "not having a personality" which, if I may get Queens from Arizona for a moment, bullshit.He's not really a normal person, though...it helps to picture humanity on an appearance bell-curve, with, say, The Elephant Man at one end and people like Vince Chase and Elizabeth Taylor on the other end, but I digress...where was I going with this again) Anyway, I even love Turtle, right? Really enjoyed him with the cute black chick from the body shop. But given that Dr. Cuddy is in a place to want to be pregnant soonish, would someone in her position want a child to be influenced by Turtle? I think that would be a "No,", even if she does find him amusing sometimes.Turtle's a hoot, but he's the worst influence in the fucking world.(And that's where he should be right now, but I am glad to see some signs that there are other parts to his personality. And I think Vince's ADD t-shirt is a little bit more than a pussy joke...I think he probably has it. (A lot of charming, charismatic, thrill-loving folks do. I don't...I have had E's job for one in terms of being The Human Reminder.) Which would make school suck enough that E. and Vince would get that tight and protective. But he's, you know, foamy, so he got to escape being a SPED, as it were. But unless he's really stoked by something, he doesn't expend effort on it.(And I bet Ellin doesn't think about this that much, speaking of SPEDs.blush)

Ok, so I thought I was going to wrap this up today, but I didn't like my original thought, so I did what a real Entourage writer would do, and stuck in a sexy part.I should probably point out that this bit owes as much to Jennifer Crusie as Ellin et al, as well.(Although there was a similar Entourage moment, it was Vince chatting up the girl in the bookstore that actually sold me on him, and the show. But I'm rambling like one of those "If you feedback, I'll write more!1" girls, so:

Cuddy took off her new shoe under the table and rubbed the pinched place between her toes discreetly.She put her shoe back on. "Vince, why won't you make Matterhorn? I'd think it was pretty sweet if somebody paid me to go to Austria."

"You guys are so busted! Colin Farrell. Although I have to admit I've noticed a certain resemblance."

"Except that you've bathed in this decade, I could see that."

"Ari is rubbing off on you."

"I'm sorry..."

"No, I like it. It's sexy. Unless you talk about me like that."

"Never...you were my patient. This is all privileged."

"Really?"

"No. But as far as I'm concerned it is. And I was serious. I'm as much of a sucker for the brogue as most Americans, but I just want to attack him with a big scrubbing brush."

He stepped closer, whispered in her ear, "What would you like to attack me with?"

"Oh, no, not in front of everyone..."

"You'd love that. Most "good girls" do. But, fine, if you insist, I'm not making Matterhorn because I'm not interested in a bad script, good CGI, and all the schnitzel I can eat. And it's not about the money."

"Money does help, though."

He tilted his head and looked at her skeptically. "Is that why you spend all your time at Diagnostics? Because I bet there's more money in these rubber chicken schmoozefests than that...admit it, you do it for the rush, right? Holding someone's fucking life in your hands gets your panties wet. I'm not doing Matterhorn because I can't get it up for it and that's all.It helps that E. thinks the script sucks because Shauna would shoot me if I talked about a script that way."

"Maybe I just like saying no."

Vince's "yeah, right," expression was getting more use tonight than in the previous two months. "We both know that's not true."

"What made you decide to show up tonight?"

"You know, some day I could get into the monogamy thing...this might not be the day, but I don't have to wreck the current moment by being'an over-sensitive tool'.Or at least that's what E. said."

"If E. said you should jump off a bridge, would you do it?"

"If I did, would you get Dr. House to put me back together again? You know, this is why that pap thought you were my mom..."

"Fine. Change of subject. How do you know good girls like to get caught?"

"When it comes to shit like that, it's like *I'm* board-certified, Lisa."

She laughed nervously. "Well, I had to ask."

"What, you're not going to make me prove it? That doesn't seem very scientific of you."

"Where do you get this stuff, Vincent?"

"Drama reads Scientific American,"

"Of course he does...okay, just let me say goodnight to the board of directors and we'll do some...research.And, if nothing else, I can ditch these shoes."

"If you keep me waiting too long, I can't promise I won't pitch a bitch and storm off again."

'Screw you, Vince." But she smiled with her whole face for the first time that night.

"If only..." He went off in search of a drink.Lisa chatted with a colleague and tried not to be obvious about watching him walk away, but she was gratified to note that he had taken some trouble with his appearance tonight.

"Dr. Cuddy," the board chairman greeted her. "Lovely evening you put together here...I hope you'll continue to associate with our little clinic after this."

"I'll do what I can, sir."

"So, what's next for you? Although I imagine your regular responsibilities keep you (continued...)

( continues...) busy."

"Actually, sir, there is a small research project I've had my eye on for some time."

"Really? Well, if you write it up, I'd love to know what you come up with."

"Great. I'll e-mail you."

"He could totally tell you weren't talking about doctor things...you're all flushed."

"Maybe it's hot in here," Lisa pointed out. "All these bodies and all that."

"It will be, not that I pay *too much* attention to reviews...now, I think I forgot my jacket."

"You're wearing it."

If she were asked to define Vincent Chase by one moment, it would probably be the moment that he flung a "distressed-looking" leather jacket that cost more than the car she drove all through pre-med to the hotel banquet room floor to help her live out a fantasy she had only previously guessed she had.(She had plenty of time to consider this, sitting in Princeton art theaters watching Queens Boulevard multiple times, often the only woman surrounded by disgruntled Walsh fanboys who called her "sweet cheeks" and the released cut "a travesty".)

But she didn't know any of that at the moment he said "Oops. We should go look in the cloakroom. "

"Okay...God, I missed you."She clutched him tightly, wondering what the hell she would do when he was surrounded by blonde bathing beauties again.His body still smelled faintly of leather, which she loved."What do you really think about L.A.? Because there are famous New York actors."

"You want to talk now?" He was breathing heavily, and freeing her breast from its strapless black bra.

"No, no, just one question..."

"The weather's great...people are freaks. I'm beginning to worry cause I like the food. You can't get real bagels there, you know."

"Really?"

"Something about the water,"Vince said. "Drama told me. You smell amazing, by the way."

:"Just a new shampoo... What do we do if someone wants a coat now?"

"Well, I guess there's no escape. I guess somebody could find you in here, all over a movie star."

She got excited. She felt it, she knew Vince felt it too, but he only smiled and said "The movie star thing still works for me too. The first time I was in Entertainment Weekly, it was like I was thirteen years old...I don't usually tell that story; it makes me seem into myself. But it was more about reaching a goal.Even if they only gave the movie a C."

"Which one was that?"

"You never saw Head-On...it's the one that started it all,baby."

"You just reminded me of Ari there."

"That's not a thought I need to have right now."

Aw, man, I do just love these crazy kids!

Me too...it started off as a joke, but they kind of work, right? Of course, I really liked Amanda the agent, too, till she bought him that bracelet that looked like a shackle.Which, ew, first because it was not something you buy for someone you respect, and two, because I agree with Turtle(!) that it looked like a handcuff. I know some of the ladies hate anyone that gets in the way of the Subtext(I wonder if the staff notices) but half of the audience, at least, is probably young guys who would not be okay with that(except for the lloyds out there), and a smart showrunner would not chase them Away. And, no, don't hate Sloan either, although I have to admit she doesn't have the chemistry with Connelly that AG has

Ari Gold and his wife sat at their benefit table being bored stiff(Ari chuckled at himself) by a pathologist who swore she'd written a script for "the next Kay Scarpetta" that, if experience taught Ari anything? Was going to be chock-full of unappetizing details to read over sushi,poorly formatted, and as thick as a brick.

The pathologist droned on, not even giving Gold time for his standard "For legal reasons," and "If you get an agent," bullshit.

Ari gave his wife a "Where do you find these people?" look and she gave him a "Don't even think about it!" kick under the table.

"Don't you agree, Mr. Gold?" the pathologist asked, after apparently waiting for his opinion on some unknown subject for some time.

"No, actually, I don't," Gold answered. "I don't agree with anyone unless they have a lot more money than you and they pay me some...I'm sort of a professional asshole. And, even then, I will, on occasion, offer my favored clients some advice based on my years of expertise and they will turn me down, in favor of a script their friend from the sandbox thinks is 'sick'. Can you believe that shit? And then, I will try to get some distance from that and get a tax write-off and pay off some old debts, only to find myself seated next to somebody who thinks she can be an industry player because she watches fuckin' Real Hollywood Story after a long night of cutting up dead people. So, no, whatever you think of me, and my industry, and even my fuckin' haircut, I doubt very seriously I will ever agree with any of it. Ever. Are we clear on that?"

"You have to excuse my husband," Mrs. Ari said."He's in therapy."

"Baby, don't make excuses for me...you know I hate it."

"The sad part is, that was sort of an improvement. And she did kind of overstep her bounds."

"Getting better all the time...that's me."

"I think I should check on the children again. Sara's mature for her age, but she is only twelve, and Jonah can be such a handful at bedtime."

"Look, dear, I love our little man, right? But I think the expression you're looking for is 'pain in the ass'.

"The apple fell far from that tree, didn't it?" Mrs. Ari fished in her purse. "I knew I should have brought my bigger bag...where's my phone?"

"Maybe the cutter stole it. For revenge."

"God, I hope not, because if I did get it back, can you imagine trying to get that out?"

"Look, I'm sure everything's fine. Marta's there..."

'My intuition's bothering me, Ari. Surely you can undertand that, Mr. Gut Instinct?" She looked around on the carpet and under the table. "I must have left it in my coat pocket...you should talk to them anyway...they could spoil the nap of the cashmere."

"There seems to be some kind of bottleneck at coat check, darling." The absence of a coterie of fresh-faced gynecology students following Vince Chase around, combined with the congestion in the cloakroom gave Ari a familar feeling: fear, pride, embarrassment, and envy, all mixed up in a sort of cocktail more potent than anything fundraisers offered. Of course, a few of those young doctors were probably gay(and Mrs. Ari hated it when he brought *his* work home!) he reasoned, trying to talk himself down, although he had noticed Vince's "powers" take a unique turn with dykes as well.Chefs wanted to feed him, bringing special things not on the menu...tough camerawomen explained every detail of complicated shots, and their cheeks turned pink when he thanked them. He would not have believed it if he hadn't seen it himself. At times it was like being an agent to the Fonz, not that he would date himself by risking the reference.

"Now you have manners?" Mrs. Ari asked."Fine, I'll take care of it."

She stalked off toward the cloakroom, just at the moment some culmination took place. "Oh, Vincent!"

"We're going home, Ari!"

"Baby, don't overreact, okay? Now I never thought of myself as a voyeur before, but you've got to admit that was the most entertaining thing that happened (continued...)

( continues...) all night. Baby?"

• **
  

For a while,after Vince went back to California, it was as if life had hit the reset button on Lisa Cuddy's life.Both the memory of the passion and the embarrassment that followed from being a "good girl that likes getting caught" had faded some, although there were still times when it felt more prudent to take the elevator alone, although she was suddenly a very popular lecturer choice for medical students, and she was always well aware of Pacific Time.
She had started fantasizing about the beach as the leaves dropped off the trees in New Jersey and also daydreaming about some more House-free time.

"Hey," a familiar voice said, as if they had just spoken the night before, "I want you to come out for the premiere..."

"I can't do that... I can't take the time off work."

"There's a Women in Endocrinology conference in LA that weekend...E. says it's, um...then she heard Eric's voice say "professional development"

"Who is this?" she joked."I probably shouldn't spend the money..."

"Don't worry, I got it."

"Well, just because I shouldn't, doesn't mean I *can't.* Paying my way is important to me, Vince."

Eric came on again. "I don't suppose you can talk to Turtle while you're here."

"Lisa, okay, that's totally unfair. Because Dr. House owes me two grand from when I kicked his crippled ass, pardon my French, at Xbox."

Considering I've been sick all day, this isn't bad.

In the end, there are two events to celebrate the premiere of Queens Boulevard, the first being a screening for the people of Queens.Lisa may have enjoyed the evening more if she hadn't spent it seated next to Walsh as he provided a running commentary track in her ear. He didn't seem to like her at all, but he was very concerned she might miss a moment of his insight.The audience seemed to really respond to the film, though, cheering and clapping at the end, which, incredibly,seemed to upset Walsh further. "None of you knows a fucking thing." he told them all.

"So, you're the doctor," he said to Cuddy, offhandedly. "Your breasts are too good for you to be a doctor."

You ought to know. You've been staring at my chest instead of my face while rambling about Scorcese for the last two hours.

It reminded her of her one attempt to go on a date with Ari.
She tried to laugh. "Well, I am. You should see my license plate. Oh, and, by the way, my face? Is up here."

"Jesus Christ, *Doctor*, don't get all Gloria Allred on me, okay? I bet you're getting shit for being with my boy Vinnie, huh?"

She sighed. "Yes, some,"

"Well, fuck 'em. If the roles were reversed, and Vinnie were the specialist and you were the starlet? Nobody would be saying *shit*.Which is, like, scary in another way, because as much as I love Vinnie's energy, I think I've seen him counting on his fingers more than a few times. That doesn't fit my conception of health care, even in this imperial waste dump."

"Mine either, Mr. Walsh."

"For fuck's sake, call me Billy. Mr. Walsh is the name borne by the lifesucking wadwaste who happens to be my sperm donor. I can't call him father because he never believed in my talents."

"Ok, Billy, then."

"Great. You're humoring me now. I fucking hate to be fucking humored. Wanna cigarette?"

"No, you know, I'm still a doctor...don't want lung cancer."

"Gotta die of something, doc. Does that shock you?"

"No, not at all, but we hardly know each other and you made this amazing film. Can't that be enough for tonight?"

"Because you and Big Pharma know how we should be feeling, is that it?"

"Honestly, Billy, I wasn't going to say anything, but you have got to be the single most *challenging* person, I've met in my adult life.",

"I'm just fucking with you, sweetheart, and congratulations...I think you're woman enough to date Vince. But the second, and I mean, the very second, you cause him to compromise his creativity, you and I? Will have mad problems."

She tried to smile. "Good one, Billy. You really had me going."

"What am I, the artist clown, now? Some kind of hipster Emmett Kelly or something? Don't take it out on me that you wasted your prettiest years dissecting frogs."

"No, Billy, when I think of you, hip is not the thing to come to mind." She thought she saw Eric give her thumbs up before turning to have one of those intense talks with Vince that reminded her of the articles she's read about twins and their secret languages. Although it's not like it's not English, but sometimes one name or place can set of gales of laughter and nobody bothers to explain why, And here she is, going to LA, the belly of the beast.Maybe the whole town is like that. Full of inside jokes she'll never understand, much less laugh at.

• **
  

She tried, as they all tried at first, she guesses, to stay unconnected, to live with in her own means, and drive a rented Volkwagen, which even Turtle snorted at. "Nice ride,"

"I'm a woman, Turtle. We don't have to be bigger. It's one of the few perks. Well, that and the multiple orgasms..."

"So, when you're with Vince..."

"Lisa, I think I'd be more comfortable if you take the Fifth on that.Also, forget the VW...driving in LA is something of a challenge, and my boy Turtle would be mortally wounded if you thought he wouldn't be up for it."

"Turtle, stop by Ari's (continued...)