The Trickster/Fairy Godmother/whatever's insight into Dean's wish is just heartbreaking.

Beautifully done, m'dear.

That was really great, Fay. OH DEAN.

woobie woobie woobie

Brilliant, Fay. Was I the only one who saw The Matrix's "Oracle" as the trickster?

For Fay, with special love, part 1 of ?

House/ Entourage fic

Untitled Entourage/ House fic

Summary: What if the guys got really sick while in New York, and Ari Gold demanded the best?

Rating: R, for language

Lisa Cuddy had never really been a morning person, and there was something about Mondays that made her understand why people wrote songs about that particular day's ordeals. But, still, she didn't really understand until much later while she felt a cold thrill of foreboding when her phone rang at 9:37 am.

"Cuddy," she answered, distracted.

"Lisa!" a half-remembered voice trilled.

"This is *Dr*Cuddy," It wasn't that she was hung up on titles; the last person to use her name without her acknowledgement had cheerfully offered to give her a golden shower and after that she was cautious.

"Look, Lisa," the man said, apparently undeterred. "I was wondering if you'd do me a little favor. For auld lang syne, and all that happy crap."

"Old times like our ten-year class reunion, where'd you'd been drinking, shoved your tongue down my throat and spent two hours crying "Please don't tell my wife'. Honestly, Ari, I think I'll pass."

"You took an oath, right?" Gold asked her."Because this is serious medical shit."

"It's fitting you should call on me, Gold. Because I'm an endocrinologist, and you'll never grow up."

"Funny. And I am sorry about that reunion thing, although this is the only time I'll ever say so. But, you and me? We go back further than that...who was the best sophomore Bio tutor in the world and kept a super-agent out of summer school? Lisa Cuddy, that's who. I'm surprised I learned anything, cause, damn, you were hot then, Lisa."

"I'm hotter now, Ari. Hotter and busier. So why don't you tell me what you want,and stop blowing smoke up my butt. you've got me over a barrel because of the oath thing."

"You wouldn't know where I could get one of those for producers would you?"

end of part one.

OMG YOU ARE MADE OF WIN!!!

::flails::

Oh, I'm so glad you think so... Oh, this all happens while they're shooting "Queens Boulevard". I forgot to put in Spoilers.

Part 2 "You don't have one of those for producers, do you?"

Despite herself, Cuddy had to smile."Like your business would survive under "First Do No Harm.' but I know you didn't call me for this."

"Why are you being so harsh? I work in a motherfuckin' dream factory, baby."

Suddenly, Cuddy remembered something about Ari Gold that only a few people in his new world could even begin to suspect.Ari was a movie *freak*, the see-Return-of-The-Jedi-eight-times kind...the kind that wouldn't even start his lab reports until he made her see all three hours of "Once Upon A Time in the West" on his family's new VCR.It bugged her a lot at the time, but she supposed it might soften any girl to get compared, however self-servingly, to Claudia Cardinale. He acted now like he was all about the money and toys, that the "dream factory" thing was just an ad tagline, but Cuddy felt that he really believed that as much as he did at fifteen. She softened toward him.

But not too much. "Don't call me baby."

"Sorry, Lisa. Habit. Look...I just got a call from Vince, he's in New York and feeling like shit...picked up a bug on the plane or some bullshit so I thought of you."

"But I'm in Princeton.And why can't he see his own doctor?"

Ari snorted. "Talent,"

That part, Lisa understood. "Um," Great, she thought, I talk to this guy for ten minutes and I regress. Gag me with a spoon.

"What is it, forty minutes? That's nothing. In L.A. that's crossing the parking lot. Send your boy."

"I don't have a boy, Ari."

"Sure you do...Hopalong Sherlock Holmes from that documentary about that deformed kid. That was like Mask meets A Beautiful Mind meets Awakenings...had me all verklempt."

"I'm sure that whatever your client has doesn't require a doubly-certified diagnostician...whatever happened to chicken soup? And Dr. House isn't my boy."

"You know, I thought about that? But, you know what? I didn't jerk off all through sophomore year thinking of a brilliant and beautiful *chicken*, Lisa."

"Could've fooled me. Look, I will talk to Dr. House, but I can't promise anything."

"Do you need a building? Cause it's done. The Fuckin' Ari Gold Memorial Mausoluem or whatever the fuck you want. I'll pick you up. Just make it happen."

Cuddy sighed a heavy sigh. "Ok."

"Great. Oh, and Lisa? If he's not your boy now, he wishes he could be...we all do."

It is SO fun being that much of an asshole...I swear, my panties are wet.(Well, okay, maybe not. But you couldn't get more "Come as You're Not," than me and Ari Gold.) It's fun to take up space for a change.

You have nailed Ari's voice.

That is absolutely fucking frightening. So why do I love it so much?