Before Willow had even had a chance to process that it was Buffy in the doorway and register the mild disappointment that she wasn't going to see Tara, Spike had bounced out of his chair.

"Ready for a bit of the rough and tumble, Slayer?

Willow was actually surprised to see Buffy's discomforted. Spike had made worse innuendo last year to Buffy last year while patrolling but Buffy always put him nastily back into his place.

"You want to patrol today…?"

"Why not? We should every day, you know. Work out the kinks and all that."

"But... "

“Jeesh, Buffy, just go out and patrol with Spike already. You'll feel better once beat something up." Dawn butted in with an exasperated voice as she packed her stuff.

"Yep, she always seems so relaxed after we’re done."

Willow had already begun grabbing her own material to walk Dawn home when she got that twitchiness under her skin that she was missing something. She had been getting that a lot lately since without magic everything seemed like a secret where it once was an open book.

Willow was sure that this paranoid feeling would go away soon enough.

Tara was still out of sight and far more important to Willow. She doesn't want to see me, Willow wailed inside her mind. She's right, I don't deserve to even be seen....

But I need her to see me so badly...

So she missed the look that Buffy shot back into the rear room.

I'm going to NYComicCon, so I have skip posting for a few days. I will be back posting by Tuesday latest...

perfect! That's when I'll be back. I look forward to reading more.

it's been good, so far.

Thanks, I appreciate it!

Spacey on pain meds. Can't sleep. Someone please point me to appropriate fanfic for this state (i.e. with lots of appeal at a really shallow level, not too dark). Supernatural, Reaper, Pushing Daisies, Firefly, Angel, Buffy, Batman, Dr. Who, Torchwood, Smallville.

back, though I may not have something for tomorrow...

---------------

Which Tara had no problem in catching, already alerted by Spike's name.

Buffy needed time to stop and think about what they had talked about, otherwise in thirty minutes she won't be thinking at all and soon after that she would not want to think about anything other than her own self-loathing.

Plus Tara had discovered how fun and easy it was to tease Spike at Buffy’s birthday party.

“I don’t know Spike, I hear that you can beat on things pretty well all by yourself.” Tara tried to casually retort as she came up to the door behind Buffy. “One man show and prefer it that way.”

...and the rest of her banter was forgotten when she saw Willow there...

...Tara flinched...

Forgotten, she forgot, was she forced to forget?!?

A quick glance at her wrist showed it still blank, still clear, still free.

Spike took her distraction to forge ahead “Either way, we need to start patrolling the sewers now if we are going to be ready later tonight, Buffy...”

And Tara felt rather than saw Buffy’s shoulders droop and she couldn’t let it happen, not now, not when Buffy had a chance to...

“You can’t Spike, Buffy is taking Dawn home.”

“What?

“I am?”

“Cool! Can we stop at the Expresso Pump?”

…don’t look at Willow…

“I thought that was Red’s job?”

…this is the right, no only, thing to do for Buffy…

“I need to ask Willow about a few things.”

With that, Tara turned away from the door, whispering to Buffy as she went, to just think about what they had spoken of. She could feel Dawn’s excitement, Buffy thankfulness, Spike’s frustration over not being able to follow due to the daylight and having to find Buffy later. And Willow’s...

I can remember for five minutes. Just five minutes. That’s all it will take. I can protect myself from her magic.

Just not from her.

Sorry for the delay folks, but I came back from the New York ComicCon feeling pretty uninspired. I posted an entry that I had ready to go, and have been staring at the computer ever since. But I am going to get something out today...

take your time, CaBil. I don't mind waiting for the good stuff.

Tara wants me!

Okay. Cool and casual-like. What could she want to talk about? Her classes or maybe computer related?

Maybe she just even wants to talk!

From there maybe we can get close, snuggle, smooch...

NO!

One step. One step, just get through a conversation without her flinching. Want her to trust me, to forget about…

Ergh! Rule one, avoid using (even thinking) the word forget!

I don't like this shirt at all. Something not as billowy and more flattering and just a wiggle of the nose (tee-hee) and I’ll...

Argh! She’ll be able to tell (she could always tell) and she’ll change her mind and I’ll never get another chance and magic is bad and is the source of all of my troubles and if I’m good then things will be fine and people, Tara will love me and forgive me and make things better and I should get over there before she changes her mind and she’ll never want to see me again and I will have to go back to the house and sleep alone and try not to cry because it doesn’t do me any good and it doesn’t even make me feel better anymore because all I feel is drained and I don’t want to feel like that anymore I want to feel again, feel dammit, because I can only feel with her and I...

…OMG…

Willow knew she should have noticed earlier, but Tara was behind Buffy and she was panicking and not thinking and sometimes she forgets to pay attention while nervous but she should have noticed this way earlier, before she got to the door and closed it behind her (even though everyone else was leaving) and noticed what Tara was wearing. Or just how little she was wearing.

Tara was so... damn... hot.

She had forgotten just how hot Tara was. Not forgot, not really, she knew, but hadn’t felt it for a while but Tara’s workout clothes hid none of her curves. Curves that were almost always hidden. Tara didn’t show so much of her drives…

The sly look she had on her face when Willow would go into the bedroom, signaling that Tara was undressed and that as soon as she got in range her mouth was to be seized by Tara’s lips. The self-satisfied smile Tara would have later, looking at her, her full breasts settling slightly, as they lay naked on top of the covers, both already covered with a sheen of sweat. Willow would be just resting, looking at Tara at wonder until Tara would walk her fingers over to her, and begin a ballet on Willow’s breasts, dancing across them, until Willow would be driven to forget how tired they were and just kiss, exploring each other mouths, faces, necks, sometimes wetly and sometime with soft puffs of air, trying to surprise each other where their fingers would land in their explorations, with Tara just arching ever so slightly when Willow’s fingers traced down to her lower spine, sampling the sweat that was collected there.

That was the same physically worn out but still filled with nervous energy Tara that Willow was seeing at the moment, except they weren’t panting this time with urges that would take days to satisfy.

Though Willow knew she was more that willing to try, given the slightest word.