Ugh. You have my sympathies for the not-fun-ness, Sophia and Burrel.
I had my own not-fun-ness tonight. I was changing the sheets on my waterbed and a seam ripped open about an inch-wide. That was 5 hours ago.
After wrestling with the mattress, I managed to get the hole above water level (the seam in question was on the bottom of the mattress, of course) but then realized I could not move from my position without the mattress falling back into it's old position and starting the leaking thing all over again. Luckily I was able to reach the phone and called one of my friends for help, figuring he could hand me a chair or something to wedge in the place of my body. I whiled away the half hour it took for him to get to my house alternating between cursing profusely and singing off-key showtunes to keep myself amused.
My friend finally arrived with his roommate in tow (luckily I had left the door unlocked). We tried the chair thing, and it didn't work. We tried attaching a hose to the drainage spout, but all my waterbed hardware seems to gone missing and I couldn't find the adapter to hook the hose to the spout, nor the syphon to attach to the faucet. Wedging the hose into the spout and attempting to reinforce it with duct tape led to tragic results, namely more water everywhere.
We tried wedging the hose in a little shallower with better success (leakage was minimal) and attempted to push the part of the mattress containing the spout off the frame to facilitate drainage. We pushed it part way off, but the water wasn't draining. In the attempt to push it further off, my friend got a little overzealous and managed to send the mattress rolling off the frame, destroying my night stand and trapping his roommate's arms underneath the mattress, as said roommate was using his hands to help keep the seal on the hose. Meanwhile, I was trying to keep the rip sealed with my own hands.
We managed to wrestle the mattress of the roommate, remove the hose and replace the cap on the spout with minimal flooding, deciding at this point we were just going to shove them damn thing to bathroom and let it drain into the tub. However, while we had been able to remove the mattress from the frame with the help of gravity, 3 men were not sufficient to move it across a carpeted floor.
My friend then summoned every person he could contact that was still awake. We ended up with a total of seven people. This was still not enough to move the damn mattress. We finally managed to jury-rig a syphon using a hose and the hole torn in the mattress. After letting it drain for about two hours, we gave it another try and succeeded in moving it about 2 feet with a ridiculous amount of effort. We're going to let it drain tonight and try again in the morning.
Unfortunately, every so often the mattress shifts as the water level goes down, causing the hole to fall below the water level and forcing me to readjust it. Which means I can't go to sleep any time soon. I've already called my work and told them not to expect me tomorrow as it's now after 4am my time and I have no clue when I'll actually be able to sleep.