Huh. They neglected to tell me that my shoes had shipped until after they were delivered. Maybe I can get home and get them from my doorman before it starts snowing too hard.

Tom, you are living the dream. If the dream is irony.

It wasn't until we heard him speaking into the phone that we realized the three year old had learned to use the damn thing--granted, he just hit the send button and it dialed the last dialed number (which, how fortunate for him was his grandmother).

A couple of years ago, my Mom, bro, and I were driving around tryingt o find the homebrewing supply store (an Xmas gift to my stepdad was going to be his own homebrewing setup). Because we are us, we couldn't find the place, even with directions. So Mom handed my brother her cell phone, which was very old and held together with rubber bands because she was too lazy to be arsed to replace it -- you know the kind.

He called the homebrewing supply store. Or, at least, he called *someone.* Because his end of the conversation sounded like this:

Bro: "Hello?"
Person: "...."
Bro: "Umm, is this -- Aunt Poohie?"
Person: "...." [I assume she was verifying her identity here.]
Bro [pause, then, confused]: "Aunt Poohie, do you work at Listerman's Brew Supplies?"

Eventually we worked out that Mom's phone just called the last dialed number.

And no, my aunt doesn't work at the homebrew supply store.

Aw, I wasn't trying to be unsympathetic, Nilly. Just make you stop calling yourself dumb. Dumb is what I did. It was a complete brain fart moment.

My dad is on a couple volunteer s&r teams. A lost toddler in the Gila involves his team, the INS (they borrow helicopters from them. And other...stuff,) state police, local sheriff, the Red Cross shows up..... The costs go insane fast.

(and yep, they found the kid, cranky and cold, but fine.)

"Oh, shit, we don't have a stupidity and arrogance charge. What fits?"

I'm grabbing one state's (NY) definition of depraved indifference murder:

Under our law, a person is guilty of Murder in the Second Degree when, under circumstances evincing a depraved indifference to human life, he or she recklessly engages in conduct which creates a grave risk of death to another person, and thereby causes the death of that person [or of a third person].2 Some of the terms used in this definition have their own special meaning in our law. I will now give you the meaning of the following terms: "recklessly engages in conduct which creates a 3 grave risk of death to another person" and "depraved indifference to human life."

A person recklessly engages in conduct which creates a grave risk of death to another when he or she:

engages in conduct which creates a grave and unjustifiable risk that another person's death will occur,

and when he or she is aware of and consciously disregards that risk,

and when that risk is of such nature and degree that disregard of it constitutes a gross deviation from the standard of conduct that a reasonable person would observe in the situation.

That doesn't seem to be reaching, and it's a felony, not a nerf ball.

In light of the "rescue" conversation, I'm going to try and rescue my grade, and copy my paper. I will, however (pay attention, Wolfram and Allyson) bill myself. With chocolate.

t Making Resolved Face

[Edit: sara? I totally didn't read you as unsympathetic! It really did put things in perspective - I didn't need to come up with the answers all anew, see. Sorry if my post read snappish or the like. I definitely didn't mean that!]

I know you've been working on that for a long time, Nilly, so that's very annoying and it's probably going to keep you up late. I've spilled coffee on a number of important papers over the years, since coffee and I are pretty inseparable.

Chocolate. This is what I need. And coffee. And -- what do you bet it's started snowing already? Maybe on the way home.

I always liked the depraved indifference statutes, because they contain the word depraved. I am -- depraved -- that way.

I will, however (pay attention, Wolfram and Allyson) bill myself. With chocolate.

Chocolate? Bill me, bill me!

OK, before getting back to work, ita? Could you please explain your tagline?

Logarithms are the new uppercut.

Bill me, bill me!

Okay. You can pay me in Godiva.

Could you please explain your tagline?

It's from The OC, Nilly. Seth is trying to get a handle on being a bad boy, and is trying to get tips from former-brawler Ryan, who's doing his math homework. "I get ti -- logarithms are the new uppercut" (uppercut's a punch, but not one we've seen Ryan use, FTR) is what Seth says when Ryan brushes him off.