Toxic black fingerprints everywhere!

shrift, you should totally go play with other peoples food, now.

I could mottle Tom's shoes... except what happens if Tom goes on a crime spree of epic proportions with my fingerprints affixed to his boots? I mean, sure, it's beer and trivia one night, and the next, BAM!, he's hitting the international diamond exchange!

This is a cautionary tale about the effects of watching too much CSI.

And write "TONER!" in blood on the walls when you're done....

As much as I cherish this entire season, this one moment may have been the high point for me. Possibly the entire run. Don't ask me why.

well sure, if you're looking for a psyche dismissal from work and a security escort out.

Well OK, it wouldn't have to be human blood....

Tommy, I don't want to know about the animal sacrifices at your work place.

Paper stealers are horrible people.

Be comforted. They're right next to the people who talk at the theatre in Special Hell.

The first ever actual photo of a planet in another solar system: [link]

Also, did you see Sunday's Boondocks. Made me laugh. I can't find a broadcast of it, but it's hysterical.

Here it is. SO funny. I had to forward it to my friend who had just seen Mark Ruffalo running in the cold rain in shorts and a tshirt.

I used to love changing the toner at my old job -- it was this whole mess-free system.

Hello, peeps. Blizzards are no great shakes to me -- just weather 2x. Hurricanes, more shakes. Tornado, too many shakes. Earthquakes: no fair. That just ain't right.

Almost the entirety of my self-defense sensibility may be marked up to a manner that brooks little nonsense. I don't know if it works on muggers (never having met one) but I have personal evidence that it deflates obnoxious adolescents and makes me invisible to obnoxious college boys. Can't complain.

DUDE. Don't talk to me on the subway.

Northeast Rules of Conduct! I saw a couple of Mormon missionaries last night on my commute home, and I could tell that was what they were. Because, aside from the nametags and black trench coats, they were walking down the hill and I was walking up the hill and as I passed they said hello. To a stranger! Clearly, their customs are not our customs.

The rules are nuanced but relatively obvious:

• Standing around waiting for a bus together -- 10 minutes before you may make conversation.
  
• Waiting for a bus in crappy weather -- 5 minutes.
  
• Reading openly over the shoulder on the T -- 15 minutes, less if the book-owner slows down to let you read along.
  
• Reading upside down and backwards on the T -- never.
  
• Not actually establishing any kind of nonverbal relationship on the T -- never.
  
• Reading someone else's crossword puzzle on the T -- 20 minutes, and ask before contributing an answer.
  
• Waiting while the T is stuck between stations -- 20 minutes, and the tourists will talk sooner.
  
• Waiting on the T platform -- never, unless to give directions to lost people.
  
• Waiting on the T platform with fellow commuters you recognize -- double never.
  
• Just walking down the street in the same direction -- triple never.
  
• Walking in opposite directions down the street -- my hair better be on fire and you're stopping to notify me of this. Or else you are not from these parts and I will ignore you (if I am polite) or give you my WTF face (if not). Either way, I will not respond verbally.

All stranger-contact rules suspended within 100 miles of Boston in the event of the Red Sox in the playoffs, a division race closer than 4 games from August 1 onward, and the Patriots winning the Superbowl.

Rules for the NYC subway: [link]