Don't argue with me when I'm hugging you, dude. And Mal's a lot more than all right, by my man/woman criteria.

You do need the hug, as do all the Really Good Guys, because you get unfairly painted with the same brush by virtue of having a Y chromosome, and it's the other thing about the predators that majorly sucks.

I don't have a routine per se for getting to my car, but I am almost always conscious of where I'm parking and making note of my surroundings. Particularly when I travel, but come to think of it, in my day to day comings and goings.

Holy crap, Sophia. That's some family...

It is weird that sometimes what seems either completely normal OR just confusing to you as a child is just downright weird and creepifying when you think of it as an adult. When I was in sixth grade, my best firend had an inground pool. When I used to go over to swim, her mother was all "Sophia has boobies. J___, why don't YOU have boobies?' Her dad was all" Wow, Sophia looks REALLY good in a bathing suit!" and her older sister (who was a lesbian) used to make me sit there while she brushed and brushed and brushed my hair. And I thought little of it at the time, but... Weird. Also, the best friend J. not only went to Harvard, but spent at least a semester as a call girl.

A lot of childhood has odd sparks of ill-socialzied sexuality. It's a very weird space, which I thought Welcome To The Dollhouse captured very well.

Actually, "Nice Guy, But..."

At which point I put on a wifebeater and steal cars. Got it.

Though is it a routine to make sure that I have a firm grip on the heavy, hard-sided purse, just in case I need to use it as a weapon? Or is that being prepared?

Heh. I think that's just sensible preparation for potential self-defense. Or, you know, not dropping your purse.

Y'all are making me real eager to walk through the dark parking garage when I leave work.

Women have routines? Do women here have car-reaching routines?

Absolutely. I make sure my keys are strategically placed in between my fingers, pokey side out. My bag/purse are tucked away and not easily got. I do a quick check of the backseat before I get in. I make sure no one is following me.

Keep in mind, this stuff is so second nature, I don't think about it. I just do it. Just like being aware of my surroundings if I'm out and about, at night or otherwise.

Oh, here's a sad (apparently) nice-guy/no-communication tale: One day I was sitting on the subway. I'm sure I was reading, as I was on the subway. I was on the outside seat of a two-seat dealie. As we came to a stop, the man sitting next to me said, "Excuse me..." so I just got up and moved to another seat, to let him get off. Oops, no. Turns out he wanted to talk to me -- he came over a minute later and asked what he had been doing wrong. DUDE. Don't talk to me on the subway.

Head up, look around, with confidence (sort of like ita on a normal day), not with anxiety. Always park under lights at night, in the highest-populated area possible. Move like you have a purpose. Keep the keys in your right hand, ends and edges out and up, between the fingers, firm grip. Pay attention to everybody but don't make eye contact. I run defenses in my head (sort of like Miranda Otto practicing sword work on the sidewalk, but not actually) for being grabbed in different ways. I do a lot of visualization, and have done some simulation because familiarity reduces shock and improves reaction.

That's all I can think of. Oh! Always make sure your trunk lid is locked and check your back seat and floor before you get into your car.

But ultimately, as sorry as I feel for the many many wonderful men who get lumped in, that doesn't outweigh my own sense of self-preservation. So yes, keys (or pen) out, radar on scan, back-seat checked, and generally wary about meeting a new guy in any situation--certainly not in public if I'm alone.