( continues...) life without some of this crap, in one way or another.
So, no. Not all men, not even most men are predators. But the predators strike all of us in one way or another. And yes, of course nice, decent men have sexual appreciation of women. But when you've grown up a girl, sometimes it's hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, and so your mind develops these rules, borders, end zones. To some women, just a not-so-coarse appreciation is creepy, and it's not because women hate or think less of nice men, or expect them to be eunuchs. It's because the predators have struck at (or attempted to) all of us, even if it's only to a mild extent. We don't necessarily walk away scarred, and battered. But we each have our own hot buttons.
I'm not ignoring the locker room crap that young men have to take. I am saying that (as a gross generalization) women are probably more easily squicked when a guy is crude (and crude is, granted, quite subjective), because (again, this is a gross generalization) in general, sexually, the average man has the capacity to be more of a physical threat to a woman, than the other way around.
Nonian, I dealt with a similar obscene caller when I was at a similar age. Asked me all kinds of questions about "pussy" that bewildered me, because I'd never heard that word used for anything but a cat.
I had this same experience with a caller talking about his cock. I'm all "um, what's up with the rooster thing?" And then I think I hung up on him.
{{{{{{{{P-C}}}}}}}}}
You are, officially, one of the Really Good Guys. Please understand that.
Yeah, sorry, that's shady. Either walk up and say something, or don't, but following at all in any way is shady.
Yep. No matter how innocent or harmless it may be to you, that sort of thing *freaks* women out. Also, always making sure you sit behind a woman on the bus, every day, and following her off the bus (making sure she leaves first)? Not a way to make friends.
It's hard being human.
That too.
In OMG news, I'm getting all this dirt on strange and stupid stuff that happened at a friend's wedding I attended. 2.5 (? maybe 3) years ago. Amazing, the undercurrents, a very few of which I noted. And there is stilll fallout (not for the bride and groom. They're perfectly happy. Just convinced further they are surrounded by insane relatives.)
Women have routines? Do women here have car-reaching routines?
A couple of my co-workers were a bit put out that they'd honked at me in traffic and I hadn't looked over.
Fuck, dude, I'm a
woman.
I can't start looking over every time someone anonymously tries to get my attention, unless I think there's a crisis underway.
They didn't get it.
And you know what? I'm prepared to stumble into a crisis someone was trying to warn me about (the irony would be that they were trying to tell me about the stalker ahead) than engaging random men in public.
Which isn't to say I won't engage in casual conversation, but the more urgent his need is for said conversation, the more likely I am to ignore him. In fact, the last time I engaged in a conversation with a strange guy, he wouldn't go disengage until I skedaddled to my parents. Wanted instead to tell me what a geek he'd been at 15.
Signed,
Also followed, stalked, wanked at, and generally perved on.
Allyson! Didn't you see the news??? Don't go look at the water. It kills people.
{{{{{{{{P-C}}}}}}}}}
You are, officially, one of the Really Good Guys. Please understand that.
Oh Christ no. I don't need that hug. After Cindy's post, after all these posts, I definitely need to {{{{{{{{all women, ever}}}}}}}}}. I mean, I know these kinds of things happen, but it's so awful and I'm almost crying that they happen to people I actually know.
Do women here have car-reaching routines?
I wouldn't say I have a routine, no, though of course I have the "pay attention to the world around you just in case someone's lurking and wants to kill you" switch flipped when I'm walking alone at night, and I'll choose safer routes and so on.
You are, officially, one of the Really Good Guys. Please understand that.
Yes, you are. Please do understand that.
The day my mom bought me my first training bra was also the day my dad taught me how to properly throw a punch, because he said there was no way he was letting his daughter wear a training bra without knowing how to clock a stupid boy in the jaw.
