It's not a healthy love.

Well, their possible love will be choked and wither due to being forced into such proximity.

Actually, it's an excellent metaphor. Go planting trees in a vegetable garden! Choose planting...garden! (My favorite ever Simpsons line: "Brevity is ... wit.")

Oh, hush, Betsy, with the realistic plant knowledge. Fine. Kill my metaphor with the light-blocking canopy of your... gardening facts.

(Edit: Curse (accent grave) d misplaced apostrophe! Causing my flights of fantastic loquacity...ciousness...ism to trip and fall on the awkward pebble of mistaken punctuation! With the monster coming to eat it!)

Guava's a tree.

Two more times than ita, then.

And why am I being namechecked again? Even people who've never fallen in love have probably been in love more times than I have. It's no challenge.

Even people who've never fallen in love have probably been in love more times than I have.

You've been in love a negative number of times?

You've been in love a negative number of times?

If we averaged the love, I'd be in the red.

And why am I being namechecked again?

Just making sure you defend your #1 status into 2005...

And why am I being namechecked again?

Sorry. You're my number one love conundrum.

And why am I being namechecked again?

Sorry. You're my number one love conundrum.

There's a song in there, somewhere.

My first instinct was country song, but the word conundrum would cause too many brains to explode. Blood drenched cowboy hats everywhere.

Blood drenched cowboy hats everywhere.

That sounds like a good country song, to me.

Blood drenched cowboy hats everywhere.

That sounds like a good country song, to me.

Sounds like Garth Brooks featuring Korn, to me.

Two more times than ita, then.

Tired of breathing, have we?