Possibly Merlin practiced droit de signeur with an innocent farm girl who later married a Weasley?

Or earlier. Doesn't droit de seigneur traditionally take place on the wedding night?

Sparky, those are brilliant.

I think, maybe, my favorite is Harry Potter And The Big Funnel

After six years at Hogwarts, Harry Potter becomes an intern sorcerer and is assigned to teach at the Honiton School. Harry has a painful time in his aunt’s house, as Dudley has met a belly-dancing girl. As Harry prepares to report to his job, Bat Bug warns him disaster awaits.

At the school, his students become wooden stools one after another. Harry doesn’t know whether an evil student is behind this, or if his old benefactor Hagrid is making a mistake, or if the shadow of Voldemort has returned. Did it have something to do with the big funnel?

but I'll have to reread them all a few times to be certain.

I rather liked the first one:

Harry doesn’t know how long it will take to wash the sticky cake off his face. For a civilized young man, it is disgusting to have dirt on any part of his body. He lies in the elegant bathtub, keeps wiping his face, and thinks about Dudley’s face, which is as fat as Aunt Petunia’s bottom.

Isn't Petunia supposed to be skinny? I suppose even a skinny bottom is wider than a face ought to be.

I have a Xmas Question. Is the waking up in Xmas morning to find your presents at the foot of your bed a Harry Potter thing or a British thing?

I think it's a British thing. I seem to remember it from other British books - possibly National Velvet.

The Harry Potter knock offs are hysterical!

From Harry Potter and the Chinese Overseas Students at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is this:

When Hogwarts’ magic protection fails, Voldemort leads Death Eaters, werewolves, dementors and giants in a merciless campaign against the castle. Harry Potter together with the Chinese students fights Voldemort.

That one's almost true!

I also like this line from Harry Potter and the Showdown :

But Gryffindor’s sword, which hung in the headmaster’s office, assassinates Professor McGonagall.

Presents on foot of bed = British.

So then does each person open presents in his or her bedroom, or do they bring them to a common area so everyone can open them together? I'm trying to remember how they did it at the Burrow during the Christmas scenes we've seen there -- I think I remember Harry and Ron opening their presents in their bedroom, and Ginny and Hermione and the twins coming in to show them what they got, and everyone else discussing it at the kitchen table.