Regarding the wand, I think the act of Grendelwald stealing it from Gregoravitch was considered "beating" Gregoravitch. It didn't have to be won in battle per se, else the original Peverell brother's getting his throat slit while he was passed out wouldn't have been enough to transfer power.

Perhaps it must be taken from the owner against his will.

Regarding the wand, I think the act of Grendelwald stealing it from Gregoravitch was considered "beating" Gregoravitch.

So then why wasn't stealing it from Dumbledore's grave considered "beating" Harry? Same sort of thing -- taking it while the current owner's back is turned. Just that in this case, the current owner didn't know he was the owner.

Hmm. Maybe that's it? The current owner has to be aware of being beaten?

Ollivander says, "Of course, the manner of taking matters. Much also depends upon the wand itself. In general, however, where a wand has been won, its allegiance will change." And also, "Wandlore is a complex and mysterious branch of magic."

If Harry was just undermining Voldemort's confidence by making up some plausible nonsense about something he knows V is ignorant, all those problems just melt away. And Harry wins because he's younger, faeter, and has his soul all in one place.

Eta: Alternatively, Harry was trying to convince the wand

Eata: I never did fully grasp what H's wand moving on its own meant.

I never did fully grasp what H's wand moving on its own meant.

Dumbledore says that, the night at the cemetary at the end of Goblet of Fire, when Harry's and Voldemort's wands connected, Harry's wand absorbed some of Voldemort's magic. Then, when Voldemort was close by again, the wand threw that magic back at him.

Maybe intent *and* awareness matters? It is definitely a confusing twist of events. Grendelwald stole--and intended to steal--from Gregoravitch (I really hope I'm getting these names right), but Voldemort taking the wand from an unprotected grave can't really be viewed as stealing from Malfoy, so he never "beat" Malfoy, as viewed by an inanimate object's understanding of events.

Also, does anyone have the book handy? Didn't Grendelwald take a shot at Gregoravitch before he jumped from the window? Did he do anything with the shot (i.e. hit/stun/disarm him)?

If Harry was just undermining Voldemort's confidence by making up some plausible nonsense about something he knows V is ignorant, all those problems just melt away.

But then there's the new problem of why Harry survived the killing curse in the woods. My understanding is that, if the Elder wand recognized Harry as its Master, the curse didn't have the power to kill him, much like Harry couldn't get his "snatcher" wand to work properly.

Grendelwald tells Voldemort, "...But your journey was pointless. I never had it ... My death will not bring you what you seek ... There is so much you do not understand ... That wand will never, ever be yours..."

Again, Voldemort's weakness - not understanding beyond what he has told himself.

Grendelwald was telling him, albeit all vague and shit, that because Grendelwald stole the wand - did not gain it through defeating his opponent - Grendelwald was NOT the true master of the wand. Grendelwald could still use it, but not to to the highest potential of the wand.

Dumbledore *did* defeat Grendelwald and therefore "won" the wand. Draco disarmed Dumbledore, Harry disarmed Draco. Harry gets the wand, end of Voldemort, cool book cover.

Now, it gets a bit handwavey in there because if Grendelwald was never the true master of the wand, then maybe Dumbledore shouldn't have been, either even though he defeated Grendelwald. But, it's just a little handwavey.

But then there's the new problem of why Harry survived the killing curse in the woods. My understanding is that, if the Elder wand recognized Harry as its Master, the curse didn't have the power to kill him, much like Harry couldn't get his "snatcher" wand to work properly.

That had nothing to do with the Elder Wand. That had to do with Voldemort having Harry's magical motherlovin' blood in him.

Also, does anyone have the book handy? Didn't Grendelwald take a shot at Gregoravitch before he jumped from the window? Did he do anything with the shot (i.e. hit/stun/disarm him)?

He stunned him. Gregorovich was studying the wand - trying to replicate it. It seems from the description in the book that Grendelwald stole it from the wand-making part of Gregorovich's store. It wasn't in use at the time, and he had it before he stunned Gregorovich. I think he actually used it to stun Gregorovich.