I've been a Big Name Fan for a few portions of my involvement in fandom. I'm felt despised and pitied, but the only time I ever thought that envy came into play was an incident within the Firefly fandom, and my lack of tact contributed greatly.

The Wonderfalls cancellation was where I think I regained some sense that I didn't need to tilt at windmills in order to feel some sense of respect, or in a desperate bid for attention from my heroes.

I never got involved in fic, it's a whole unknown variable in fandom to me. The reason is that I can't write it. If I can't be a rock star, I don't get involved. For someone with such low self-esteem, I have a hugely over-inflated ego.

I have very little history of being any kind of fan, so this probably has very little value in terms of generally recognized definitions. Having said that, my perceptions of BNFs is that they work their butts off, tend to be a little insecure, but are generally nice to other, lesser fans, and don't necessarily perceive them as lesser.

Speaking as one with absolutely no pretensions of being even an Average Fan, I know that I occasionally have some envy, of a fairly innocuous sort. But, and this is important, it is mixed with a lot of appreciation for all the work they do. For a variety of reasons, including location, I realize that I am not willing to put the amount of effort into fandom that is probably required to become a BNF. So, while I do sometimes get a few twinges of jealousy when a BNF drops a funny story about their evening with someone, like, say, Tim Minear, or with another BNF such as Nilly, mostly I am just thankful for their willingness to share the story, and for all the efforts they make to ensure that people like me have some access, however limited.

As an aside, I think it's funny, too, that for me, the twinges of jealousy have diminished with time on buffistas, as I start to feel a part of this community. I noticed this especially with Nillyfest. I wish that I could have taken part personally, but I feel included by the wonderful stories that have been posted. My jealousy has been replaced by all sorts of warm fuzzies. It's really amazing to me how the folks on this board are able to combine biting snark with being so...nice.

Is fandom an anarchistic meritocracy?

I think so. The merit seems to be based on dedication combined with a lot of work, intelligence and people skills, which is interesting, because I think that often fandom attracts people who lack in at least one of those areas. When I think of BNFs on buffistas, I think of people like Nilly and Allyson. Both are self-deprecating, but show a lot of skill in writing and working with people, as well as a willingness to devote a great deal of time and energy, as is evidenced by what they have accomplished here.

The term Big Name Fan certainly goes back to the '50s and probably earlier. Back in the dark ages of my youth, in the era of mimeograph machines and dinosaurs, it described people who were well known for editing and writing fanzines; publishing small press books; filking; putting on conventions and the like. BNFs could be hated or loved.

I wrote 'zines back in the day. Pre-Buffy. I shared ownership of a Queercore 'zine called Suburban Backlash. Bad photocopies at Staples, a PO Box for trading, going 50/50 with local record shop owners to sell them. I wonder if I can even find any traces of it on google...

ETA: HA! One lonely review on a dead site:

Review of issues #2 - Chloe and Ari get right to the point and stick it in your face. Chloe is a smoker and damn proud of it and gives a good rant on why ant-smokers should shut up. The also have CD, show and zine reviews through-out the issue. Chloe gives us a guide to zine etiquette that is right on the money. There is a "literary" section with poetry ands anovel excerpt from Ari called 'Trollops.' and 'A Day in the Life of a Suburban Backlash Staff Member' which is quite true for any zine. This is another zine with more going for it than alot of other zines. The writing and subject matter are so diverse that there is simething for everyone. Check them out at their web site for a peek.

So, are you Chloe or Ari?

I am still learning non-internet fannish terminology. This weekend I heard "smof" used for the first time out loud; that means "secret master of fandom", and is one of those rare words that started out as an ironic word for people in the know about one famous person or another. (I think, in fact, it was used just like BNF is today, and "ironic" is the nice way the person explaining its history chose to use.)

But now, smof just means anybody who is deep in the details of a convention, especially somebody on a committee or head of a department. It's totally lost its emotional connotation and is now merely descriptive. It's also (apparently this is recent) become a verb: I ran into Jenny, but she was smoffing with a bunch of volunteers, so I didn't bother her.

If it didn't sound so silly in acronym, and if it didn't already have a firmly established meaning, I would love for more internet people to become Secret Masters of Fandom. I like the "yeah, and?" ness of it.

I still haven't found out what slan means, but that's basically because I don't care enough to look it up.

Buffy/Angel/Firefly/Wonderfalls fandom (through the Buffistas) is the only fandom I've been involved in. Buffy was the first show I've been obsessed with since ST:TOS (in syndication) when I was in grade school. I was into shows like Twin Peaks, X-Files, etc, but nothing like obsessive fandom.

I still haven't found out what slan means, but that's basically because I don't care enough to look it up.

Secret Lover Among Nincompoops?

Slan comes from the A.E. Van Vogt book of the same name. Slans were supposed to be the next level of human evolution, and in the '40s and '50s, "Fans are slans" was a common saying in fandom. The idea was particularly promoted by a fan named Claude Degler, known for traveling around the country from the home of one fan to another. Degler claimed that fans were a new type of human, and he said fans could join together into a Cosmic Consciousness. One fan sent Degler postcards from all over the country that all said, "I have a cosmic mind. Now what do I do?"

Degler claimed that fans were a new type of human, and he said fans could join together into a Cosmic Consciousness.

OK, lets.

Anyone who wants to be part of the Cosmic Consciousness, meet me at my place.