oh Matt, that is a thing of beauty.

I am intrigued by the draw of negative attention. I see it in kids. I am not sure why attention of any kind is not equal in value, but it clearly isn't. It makes me think that there has either been a lack of positive attention, so they do not understand it, or that the people they desire attention from the most only reimnforce negative attentiona nd so it becomes their default way of behaving.

I have had long talks with a friend with a Ph.D. in child psychology about it and they are very interesting.

Matt - that was a very nice post.

we definitely had our share of "any attention is better than no attention" posters at the bronze/bronze beta. thankfully most of them have been banned at this point.

Is it possible that one of the reasons for "any attention is better than no attention" is that it tends to be much easier to get negative attention, especially if one is not as skilled in the social graces as one would like? What do people think?

I think the fact that some people are just assholes plays into it as well, if we're talking about general behavior that elicits negative attention rather than something specific like Munchausen's-by-Internet. I can quickly think of at least two or three trolls that were smart and well-spoken enough to garner positive public attention, but chose the route of flaming, provoking arguments, and manipulating people instead.

I don't really know. I can distinctly remember different instances where I moved from wanting positive attention from anyone to wanting it from only specific people and getting frustrated with how to make that shift (late jr. high, second-year of college), but I can never remember ever desiring attention in any form from even specific people.

Negative attention, even from those I liked has always been bad in my world. I most often equate it as equally as bad as exessive unwanted positive attention.

I think the fact that some people are just assholes plays into it as well

the simplisity and brilliance of that statement made me laugh out loud.

there is a danger in being too accommodating and nice. I like it that Buffistas.org is somewhat sarcastic, and not politically correct, and doesn't suffer fools gladly. I like it that people get called on their bullshit, and that intelligence and command of the language are not merely encouraged, but at least by implication demanded.

Tim posting here brought me to buffistas, but this is what keeps me here, Matt. I've tried other boards, and have enjoyed intelligent, insightful and fun conversations on them. But buffistas is consistently intelligent, snarky, and polite respectful caring. The crap ratio on the other boards I've tried has just overwhelmed me after awhile.

I think the fact that some people are just assholes plays into it as well

the simplisity and brilliance of that statement made me laugh out loud.

I've given a version of that statement to children in grade school. Mostly my nieces and nephews.

I generally get annoyed at the blanket "They tease you because they like you" crap well intentioned parents babble out.

Its amazing how well children take an honest "Some people are just going to be mean to you and not like you. You can't do anything about that. Just find the ones who do like you and play with them."

ETA: Which is sort of how the Buffistas work as explained by Matt, really.

I don't think this applies to the situations you've been talking about, but... negative attention from people you don't identify with is almost equivalent to positive attention from people you do identify with. That's why people go to sports bars and boo the home team.

And then for some people, maybe the negative attention is a side-effect, and the goal is more seeing the reaction than caring who it's aimed at. If that makes sense. It's impersonal, like poking an anthill with a stick. You don't want to get bitten, but you do want to see what will happen.

Not that I've ever done anything like that. But I've heard stories.

Oh man, that was an excellent post Matt. Of course I then went on to skim the rest of that conversation. That was a rough couple of days.